Since I seemed to be spending most of my time refreshing the page, I figured I'd do something marginally useful instead. Hope somebody enjoys it! 
(For kicks, I did something unusual this time--no trades. So, if you're looking for the Suns' pick, you'll have to wait for part 2.)
1. Portland—Greg Oden
When a legitimate star center comes out, he’s the obvious pick, and Oden is no exception. For those who think Durant has a chance, remember this: there are GMs who would still take Hakeem Olajuwan over Michael Jordan back in 1984, even now that their careers are over.
2. Seattle—Kevin Durant
Easiest pick in the draft. Durant will eventually wind up as a Dirk-plus PF, but even if he was locked into Rashard Lewis’ SF position, Presti wouldn’t hesitate for an instant here.
3. Atlanta—Al Horford
Billy Knight continues to worship at the shrine of conventional wisdom—his current obsession seems to be duplicating John Paxson’s work with the Bulls—and winds up with yet another forward. Unlike “Shellhead” Williams, Horford has plus size for his NBA position, but neither player has the defense or athletic ability to slot in comfortably at center, and putting them on the same front line, the Hawks match up with…well, maybe Charlotte with Okafor and May, but that’s about it.
Both Brandan Wright and Mike Conley, Jr. would offer the Hawks a better mix of potential and immediate help, but neither has won the NCAA championship or is a veteran college player, so they were probably among the first to be crossed off Knight’s list.
4. Memphis—Mike Conley, Jr.
Having already hired Marc Iavaroni away from the Suns, the Grizzlies pick up the PG necessary to run Mike D’Antoni’s schemes.
Conley also happens to be Greg Oden’s best friend, and if the Grizzlies follow Jerry West’s advice, they’ll be sure to have plenty of cap room available in 2014, which is the first year Oden will be able to opt out of his second contract with Portland. In fact, that should be the Grizzlies motto this year: "Building for 2014!".
5. Boston—Brandan Wright
The draft market for young big men has been steadily dropping ever since 2001, but Danny Ainge has never been afraid to buck conventional wisdom. Wright has the youth and measurables teams used to love, and as a bonus, he actually showed quite a bit during his year at UNC.
Incidentally, it will be interesting to compare Horford’s progress to Al Jefferson, a similar-sized player who’s only a year and a half older than Horford. I hate to go out on a limb here, but it’s possible that the pendulum has swung to the point where NCAA Championship experience has become overvalued.
6. Milwaukee—Jeff Green
A swingman whose key skill is posting up other swingmen is kind of a boutique item--to take advantage, his team needs plenty of shooters (especially shooting bigs) and/or a tactical flexibility many teams neither have nor desire (looking at you, Mike Woodson). Fortunately for Milwaukee, they already have the requisite shooting PF and high-post center necessary to use all of Green’s strengths right away.
Milwaukee also has money to spend in free agency, but Green’s advantage over the league’s current mid-sized post players is that he should be able to develop the complementary all-around skills that Boris Diaw has lost and Desmond Mason never had in the first place. Besides, Ruben Patterson’s parole officer has already mailed him a new set of change-of-address forms.
7. Minnesota—Yi Jianlian
Regardless of what happens in the trade market, this is the first year in a long time that Kevin McHale will be able to make a pick without KG breathing down his neck, so I expect the Wolves to pick up a long-term project with their lottery pick. Yi fits the bill, since at the very least, he’ll need a “Dirk year” to adjust to the enormous difference between the Chinese league and the NBA, but his measurables are as good as anybody’s.
Yi’s other attraction is that of the unknown, as the entire nation of China has been working feverishly to keep Yi out of McHale’s clutches. They haven’t kept him distant enough that owner Glen Taylor hasn’t caught the whiff of Yi’s Yuan-and-dollar-scented cologne, though, and my bet is that Taylor’s stubborn jackassery carries the day here.
8. Charlotte—Corey Brewer
Charlotte is another team whose lousy front office is trying to imitate John Paxson, so if they keep the pick, they’ll probably select from the remaining Florida Gators. With his waifish body and poor handle, Brewer is an enormous question mark, but he can shoot and defend, so he should theoretically be useful in spacing the floor for the Bobcats’ “offense” and providing more defensive cover for Adam Morrison, whose glucose level drops precipitously whenever he bends his knees.
9. Chicago—Joakim Noah
With the first two Floridians slated to be taken by Paxson lites, the third winds up going to Paxson himself. Noah may not fill their need, which is scoring, but he’s spent long enough in college to get back to being underrated again, and he won’t hurt his team by doing something so egregiously stupid that Scott Skiles will be forced to shoot him in the face (and subsequently need to attend a bunch of court dates).
And really, a little more defense is all that’s needed to turn that sweep by the Pistons upside down next season…defense wins championships, right?
10 Sacramento—Tiago Splitter
Geoff Petrie is no draft genius, but he’s not afraid to take risks, either. Splitter will probably have to wait a year, but he’s the only quality athletic big man on the board at this point, and besides, it’s probably better that the Kings’ draftees stay away until Ron Artest is gone.
There are really two possibilities with Splitter: either he’s come to an agreement with some team, in which case he’ll get drafted in the late lottery, or he hasn’t, in which case he’ll drop through to the second round. If a team does draft Splitter late in the first round, the next logical step is to petition the NBA to change their rules regarding salary slotting, because as things stand, Splitter is looking at six to eight times as much money from Euroleague teams, and over a four-year rookie contract, that can really add up.
11. Hawks—Javaris Crittenton
Like Jamal Crawford, Crittenton is a skinny tweener—a player whose decision-making is too poor for him to play PG, but who needs the ball too much to play SG. Since Billy Knight has already tried to shoehorn Joe Johnson and Salim Stoudamire into the PG slot, it makes sense that the Hawks are rumored to be infatuated with him.
12. Sixers—Julian Wright
Teams aren’t supposed to reach for need, but the Sixers really are full up on prospects at the swing positions. While they could easily wind up with Josh McRoberts, another option is to pick out a combo forward with the intention of playing him up, and Julian Wright is both the biggest and the most decorated combo forward available here.
13. New Orleans—Al Thornton
Since the days of Bob Bass, the Hornets have had a fairly specific profile they seem to look for in their draftees—productive, athletic college players who slip because of concerns over limited upside. They went away from that in 2004 with J.R. Smith, but they seem to be back in the fold now, putting up the most boring draft in the league last summer.
Thornton is productive, he’s athletic, and in this mock, he’s dropped, so he seems like an easy choice here. He’ll probably wind up replacing Peja Stojakovic as the team’s designated shooter, as soon as Peja decides he can stop pretending to earn the enormous contract the Hornets stupidly signed him to—a move that seems doubly crazy considering the team's previous experience with Jamal Mashburn. At least with the flood and all, nobody was paying attention last summer when they killed the first half of Chris Paul's career.
14. Clippers—Acie Law IV
Law, Nick Young and even Thaddeus Young would all look good here. My guess is that coach/GM Mike Dunleavy would prefer another foreigner, either Fernandez or Belinelli, but if so, he’ll be overruled by owner and Korea-phile Donald Sterling, who must still be seething over the money he was forced to pay Yaroslav Korolev.
15. Detroit—Rodney Stuckey
That’s the rumor right now, and a guy like Stuckey generally doesn’t make it into the draft’s green room without one of the teams validating his card. A shoot-first combo guard with poor range, Stuckey will look to make Piston fans forget all about missing out on Dwyane Wade when he winds up in Detroit...wait, I meant to say that he'll probably replace Flip Murray in a year or so. Yeah, that's it.
I'll put up the second half when I get time, either tonight or tomorrow.
(For kicks, I did something unusual this time--no trades. So, if you're looking for the Suns' pick, you'll have to wait for part 2.)
1. Portland—Greg Oden
When a legitimate star center comes out, he’s the obvious pick, and Oden is no exception. For those who think Durant has a chance, remember this: there are GMs who would still take Hakeem Olajuwan over Michael Jordan back in 1984, even now that their careers are over.
2. Seattle—Kevin Durant
Easiest pick in the draft. Durant will eventually wind up as a Dirk-plus PF, but even if he was locked into Rashard Lewis’ SF position, Presti wouldn’t hesitate for an instant here.
3. Atlanta—Al Horford
Billy Knight continues to worship at the shrine of conventional wisdom—his current obsession seems to be duplicating John Paxson’s work with the Bulls—and winds up with yet another forward. Unlike “Shellhead” Williams, Horford has plus size for his NBA position, but neither player has the defense or athletic ability to slot in comfortably at center, and putting them on the same front line, the Hawks match up with…well, maybe Charlotte with Okafor and May, but that’s about it.
Both Brandan Wright and Mike Conley, Jr. would offer the Hawks a better mix of potential and immediate help, but neither has won the NCAA championship or is a veteran college player, so they were probably among the first to be crossed off Knight’s list.
4. Memphis—Mike Conley, Jr.
Having already hired Marc Iavaroni away from the Suns, the Grizzlies pick up the PG necessary to run Mike D’Antoni’s schemes.
Conley also happens to be Greg Oden’s best friend, and if the Grizzlies follow Jerry West’s advice, they’ll be sure to have plenty of cap room available in 2014, which is the first year Oden will be able to opt out of his second contract with Portland. In fact, that should be the Grizzlies motto this year: "Building for 2014!".
5. Boston—Brandan Wright
The draft market for young big men has been steadily dropping ever since 2001, but Danny Ainge has never been afraid to buck conventional wisdom. Wright has the youth and measurables teams used to love, and as a bonus, he actually showed quite a bit during his year at UNC.
Incidentally, it will be interesting to compare Horford’s progress to Al Jefferson, a similar-sized player who’s only a year and a half older than Horford. I hate to go out on a limb here, but it’s possible that the pendulum has swung to the point where NCAA Championship experience has become overvalued.
6. Milwaukee—Jeff Green
A swingman whose key skill is posting up other swingmen is kind of a boutique item--to take advantage, his team needs plenty of shooters (especially shooting bigs) and/or a tactical flexibility many teams neither have nor desire (looking at you, Mike Woodson). Fortunately for Milwaukee, they already have the requisite shooting PF and high-post center necessary to use all of Green’s strengths right away.
Milwaukee also has money to spend in free agency, but Green’s advantage over the league’s current mid-sized post players is that he should be able to develop the complementary all-around skills that Boris Diaw has lost and Desmond Mason never had in the first place. Besides, Ruben Patterson’s parole officer has already mailed him a new set of change-of-address forms.
7. Minnesota—Yi Jianlian
Regardless of what happens in the trade market, this is the first year in a long time that Kevin McHale will be able to make a pick without KG breathing down his neck, so I expect the Wolves to pick up a long-term project with their lottery pick. Yi fits the bill, since at the very least, he’ll need a “Dirk year” to adjust to the enormous difference between the Chinese league and the NBA, but his measurables are as good as anybody’s.
Yi’s other attraction is that of the unknown, as the entire nation of China has been working feverishly to keep Yi out of McHale’s clutches. They haven’t kept him distant enough that owner Glen Taylor hasn’t caught the whiff of Yi’s Yuan-and-dollar-scented cologne, though, and my bet is that Taylor’s stubborn jackassery carries the day here.
8. Charlotte—Corey Brewer
Charlotte is another team whose lousy front office is trying to imitate John Paxson, so if they keep the pick, they’ll probably select from the remaining Florida Gators. With his waifish body and poor handle, Brewer is an enormous question mark, but he can shoot and defend, so he should theoretically be useful in spacing the floor for the Bobcats’ “offense” and providing more defensive cover for Adam Morrison, whose glucose level drops precipitously whenever he bends his knees.
9. Chicago—Joakim Noah
With the first two Floridians slated to be taken by Paxson lites, the third winds up going to Paxson himself. Noah may not fill their need, which is scoring, but he’s spent long enough in college to get back to being underrated again, and he won’t hurt his team by doing something so egregiously stupid that Scott Skiles will be forced to shoot him in the face (and subsequently need to attend a bunch of court dates).
And really, a little more defense is all that’s needed to turn that sweep by the Pistons upside down next season…defense wins championships, right?
10 Sacramento—Tiago Splitter
Geoff Petrie is no draft genius, but he’s not afraid to take risks, either. Splitter will probably have to wait a year, but he’s the only quality athletic big man on the board at this point, and besides, it’s probably better that the Kings’ draftees stay away until Ron Artest is gone.
There are really two possibilities with Splitter: either he’s come to an agreement with some team, in which case he’ll get drafted in the late lottery, or he hasn’t, in which case he’ll drop through to the second round. If a team does draft Splitter late in the first round, the next logical step is to petition the NBA to change their rules regarding salary slotting, because as things stand, Splitter is looking at six to eight times as much money from Euroleague teams, and over a four-year rookie contract, that can really add up.
11. Hawks—Javaris Crittenton
Like Jamal Crawford, Crittenton is a skinny tweener—a player whose decision-making is too poor for him to play PG, but who needs the ball too much to play SG. Since Billy Knight has already tried to shoehorn Joe Johnson and Salim Stoudamire into the PG slot, it makes sense that the Hawks are rumored to be infatuated with him.
12. Sixers—Julian Wright
Teams aren’t supposed to reach for need, but the Sixers really are full up on prospects at the swing positions. While they could easily wind up with Josh McRoberts, another option is to pick out a combo forward with the intention of playing him up, and Julian Wright is both the biggest and the most decorated combo forward available here.
13. New Orleans—Al Thornton
Since the days of Bob Bass, the Hornets have had a fairly specific profile they seem to look for in their draftees—productive, athletic college players who slip because of concerns over limited upside. They went away from that in 2004 with J.R. Smith, but they seem to be back in the fold now, putting up the most boring draft in the league last summer.
Thornton is productive, he’s athletic, and in this mock, he’s dropped, so he seems like an easy choice here. He’ll probably wind up replacing Peja Stojakovic as the team’s designated shooter, as soon as Peja decides he can stop pretending to earn the enormous contract the Hornets stupidly signed him to—a move that seems doubly crazy considering the team's previous experience with Jamal Mashburn. At least with the flood and all, nobody was paying attention last summer when they killed the first half of Chris Paul's career.
14. Clippers—Acie Law IV
Law, Nick Young and even Thaddeus Young would all look good here. My guess is that coach/GM Mike Dunleavy would prefer another foreigner, either Fernandez or Belinelli, but if so, he’ll be overruled by owner and Korea-phile Donald Sterling, who must still be seething over the money he was forced to pay Yaroslav Korolev.
15. Detroit—Rodney Stuckey
That’s the rumor right now, and a guy like Stuckey generally doesn’t make it into the draft’s green room without one of the teams validating his card. A shoot-first combo guard with poor range, Stuckey will look to make Piston fans forget all about missing out on Dwyane Wade when he winds up in Detroit...wait, I meant to say that he'll probably replace Flip Murray in a year or so. Yeah, that's it.
I'll put up the second half when I get time, either tonight or tomorrow.
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