DanThePackerFan
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....and welcome to the worst two weeks of your football lives.
Yesterday was just a taster of the beat down that is to come on Sunday.
The Cardinals have once again taken advantage of an atrocious division to wrap up an NFC West championship and enter the playoffs. A stroke of luck last year resulted in the first Super Bowl appearance in the history of this pitiful franchise.
Meanwhile, the Packers will be returning to the playoffs for the twelfth time since 1993, matching the organization's twelve championships. This will, however, be the first endeavor for Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers who is poised to add to the storied history of the franchise with multiple championships in the next decade.
As far as this matchup is concerned, I cannot see the game being close.
DRC is a good player, but matching up Toler or McFadden on any of the rest of our receivers is an exercise in futility for the Cardinals. I expect big days from who ever DRC is not covering.
An even better matchup for the Pack is Jermichael Finley on, well, anyone. Too fast for Dansby, too big for any of the DBs. He'll prove once again that he's an unstoppable force in the red zone. I expect a big game from him on Sunday.
Perhaps the biggest mismatch of them all, though, is Bridges attempting (note italics) to block Clay Matthews. Matthews had him running in circles, falling over, throwing his helmet, and doing all sorts of embarrassing things yesterday. If I were Wisenhunt, I would double or triple, hell, even quadruple block Matthews. That might not even do it. But he has to try, otherwise Warner is going to have nightmares of the long-haired speed demon destroying him from the blind side.
Further downfield, we have the best defensive player in the NFC (and, arguably, the entire NFL) lurking in our defensive backfield. Yesterday should be an indicator that it might be wise to not throw in his direction. I know I saw Kurt writing something on his clipboard in the second half yesterday. After rewinding it on DVR and replaying it a few times, I can conclude that he was writing "DO NOT THROW AT CHARLES WOODSON." Hopefully he is wise enough to follow that advice next Sunday.
Deeper in the defensive backfield, we have our Pro Bowl bound, ballhawking safety Nick Collins, as well as hard hitting Atari Bigby. I would hate to be a Cardinals receiver coming over the middle on Sunday. Yikes...
I will admit that the Cardinals have some great talent in that receiving corps. Yes, yes, I know good football when I see it. And if any of them get matched up one-on-one with Jarrett Bush, it will result in a big play for the Cardinals. If you had any dreams of that, however, I apologize in advance for telling you that Dom "The Mad Scientist" Capers will effectively scheme away from that. He'll get help, and you'll have to throw at Woodson (who, henceforth, you will refer to as "Sir Charles", respectfully).
As far as the things that make teams successful in the playoffs, this is a rather lopsided mismatch. For example, the Packers finished the season +24 in turnover margin, good for the best mark in the league. The Cardinals finished -7 (tied for 24th). Oops.
A recent indicator for playoff success has been Cold, Hard Football Facts' Defensive HOG Index, in which the higher ranked team holds a 20-2 record in the playoffs since the stat was created in 2007.
It appears to me that the Packers are ranked #1 in this category. Feel free to look for yourself.
Now, I can understand your trepidation at yesterday's results, and the forthcoming excuses that accompany it.
"Wisenhunt didn't want to show his hand!"
"The Packers gave us their game plan!"
"We have them right where we want them!"
"All our starters were out (even though it was really just Warner for the entire first half)!"
If this will help get you through the week, I encourage you to keep telling them to yourself. Whether or not Wisenhunt is pooping himself in real life is irrelevant to your collective sanity as Cardinals fans, and I want to ensure that remains intact.
Concerning home field advantage, it was apparent yesterday that the best fan base in the NFL rolled into town and took over the stadium with ease, and that was merely for a regular season game. You can expect that and more next week. I will make a conservative estimate that the stadium will be split 50/50. But you can be rest assured that the "Go Pack Go!" chants will be louder than ever.
Now, I realize by your definition, I may seem to be a troll. But hear me out. Trolls typically utilize outlandish claims to instigate posters. I spread facts. I urge you to read through the case I have presented and respond to these facts accordingly. I look forward to your responses.
Good luck this weekend. You will need it.
Yesterday was just a taster of the beat down that is to come on Sunday.
The Cardinals have once again taken advantage of an atrocious division to wrap up an NFC West championship and enter the playoffs. A stroke of luck last year resulted in the first Super Bowl appearance in the history of this pitiful franchise.
Meanwhile, the Packers will be returning to the playoffs for the twelfth time since 1993, matching the organization's twelve championships. This will, however, be the first endeavor for Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers who is poised to add to the storied history of the franchise with multiple championships in the next decade.
As far as this matchup is concerned, I cannot see the game being close.
DRC is a good player, but matching up Toler or McFadden on any of the rest of our receivers is an exercise in futility for the Cardinals. I expect big days from who ever DRC is not covering.
An even better matchup for the Pack is Jermichael Finley on, well, anyone. Too fast for Dansby, too big for any of the DBs. He'll prove once again that he's an unstoppable force in the red zone. I expect a big game from him on Sunday.
Perhaps the biggest mismatch of them all, though, is Bridges attempting (note italics) to block Clay Matthews. Matthews had him running in circles, falling over, throwing his helmet, and doing all sorts of embarrassing things yesterday. If I were Wisenhunt, I would double or triple, hell, even quadruple block Matthews. That might not even do it. But he has to try, otherwise Warner is going to have nightmares of the long-haired speed demon destroying him from the blind side.
Further downfield, we have the best defensive player in the NFC (and, arguably, the entire NFL) lurking in our defensive backfield. Yesterday should be an indicator that it might be wise to not throw in his direction. I know I saw Kurt writing something on his clipboard in the second half yesterday. After rewinding it on DVR and replaying it a few times, I can conclude that he was writing "DO NOT THROW AT CHARLES WOODSON." Hopefully he is wise enough to follow that advice next Sunday.
Deeper in the defensive backfield, we have our Pro Bowl bound, ballhawking safety Nick Collins, as well as hard hitting Atari Bigby. I would hate to be a Cardinals receiver coming over the middle on Sunday. Yikes...
I will admit that the Cardinals have some great talent in that receiving corps. Yes, yes, I know good football when I see it. And if any of them get matched up one-on-one with Jarrett Bush, it will result in a big play for the Cardinals. If you had any dreams of that, however, I apologize in advance for telling you that Dom "The Mad Scientist" Capers will effectively scheme away from that. He'll get help, and you'll have to throw at Woodson (who, henceforth, you will refer to as "Sir Charles", respectfully).
As far as the things that make teams successful in the playoffs, this is a rather lopsided mismatch. For example, the Packers finished the season +24 in turnover margin, good for the best mark in the league. The Cardinals finished -7 (tied for 24th). Oops.
A recent indicator for playoff success has been Cold, Hard Football Facts' Defensive HOG Index, in which the higher ranked team holds a 20-2 record in the playoffs since the stat was created in 2007.
It appears to me that the Packers are ranked #1 in this category. Feel free to look for yourself.
Now, I can understand your trepidation at yesterday's results, and the forthcoming excuses that accompany it.
"Wisenhunt didn't want to show his hand!"
"The Packers gave us their game plan!"
"We have them right where we want them!"
"All our starters were out (even though it was really just Warner for the entire first half)!"
If this will help get you through the week, I encourage you to keep telling them to yourself. Whether or not Wisenhunt is pooping himself in real life is irrelevant to your collective sanity as Cardinals fans, and I want to ensure that remains intact.
Concerning home field advantage, it was apparent yesterday that the best fan base in the NFL rolled into town and took over the stadium with ease, and that was merely for a regular season game. You can expect that and more next week. I will make a conservative estimate that the stadium will be split 50/50. But you can be rest assured that the "Go Pack Go!" chants will be louder than ever.
Now, I realize by your definition, I may seem to be a troll. But hear me out. Trolls typically utilize outlandish claims to instigate posters. I spread facts. I urge you to read through the case I have presented and respond to these facts accordingly. I look forward to your responses.
Good luck this weekend. You will need it.
Nostradamus you are not...so many gems in this one it was hard to pick what of your "expert" analysis was the most hilarious. Enjoy the rest of the Cards run freezing your ass off in Craptown USA, we'll be savoring it in the sun.
