I was with you the whole way, but according to The Athletic's simulator, the Cardinals still have a <1% chance of getting the #1 pick.
I was going to list out all of the things that need to happen, but since strength of schedule is a primary factor, aside from the obvious (Cards need to lose while Giants & Raiders need to win) there are a huge number of combinations of results that could benefit or hurt the Cards' odds. Despite being under 1% at the moment, it doesn't take too many outcomes to go the Cards' way to get to over 99%.
An example: Raiders > Giants, Browns > Bengals, Giants > Cowboys, Jets > Bills, and Raiders > Chiefs gets the Cards to 71%, with only a few other results needed to get to >99%.
On the other hand, if the Giants beat the Raiders, a lot more games would have to go the Cards' way. That seems to be the single most important game for the Cards.
Colys > 49ers tonight helps in any scenario, but doesn't seem likely.
You must be registered for see images attach