THE Newcastle United FC thread

[Mulli]

Epic relegation battle amirite

 

[Stout]

Epic relegation battle amirite

Bears gonna pull a Kyler Murray/Kliffy this year.

Don't @ me!

 

[Stout]

Tried to piss it away against a 10 man Burnley, of all teams, by going cowardly and cringy at the end, for some effing reason. I'll take the 3 points, but this trend must stop or Howe won't survive.

 

[Stout]

F'ing Newcastle, man.

 

[Stout]

This is it. Derby day. I dub Woltemade today's honorable Shola Ameobi, aka "Mackem slayer." C'mon boys. Howe-way the lads!

Oh, one thing, Howe. You have got to bench Joelinton for the kid. MUST.

 

[Stout]

Well, that didn't age well.

This loss falls squarely on the shoulders of Eddie Howe. Another approach to a derby game like this and he should be fired. Absolutely inexcusable. 4-5-1, park the bus, and pray you can hit on the counter? With that much more talent that Sunderpuke? You're freaking striker is freaking defending your freaking goal on a non set piece?

Criminal offense. Cowardly. Coaching scared just gave Sunderpuke life and allowed them to run rampant for a whole half and then pushed them into an OG. Oh, oh then Howe decides to change the game plan. Wonderful. Too freaking late, you cornholio.

Howe is enemy #1 today for Newcastle. Enemy number freaking 1.

 

[Mulli]

That was butt football.

 

[Stout]

Really hope Howe rotates the squad significantly for this game. Would be nice to give Woltemade a rest and start Wissa. I'd also give some of the kids a chance. The Carabao Cup should be bottom of the priority list, and it's only Fulham.

 

[Stout]

Excellent last second win. Young Lewis Miley moving from midfield to right back and scoring the winner in extra time. My word, what a player.

 

[Mulli]

The announcers on SiriusXM were almost laughing that the Newcastle players not being coached yesterday. Defenders not pressing when everyone else was. Said mean things about Ramsdale.

 

[Stout]

The announcers on SiriusXM were almost laughing that the Newcastle players not being coached yesterday. Defenders not pressing when everyone else was. Said mean things about Ramsdale.

They were coached brilliantly to start the game--team dominated the 1st half. Unfortunately, Howe appears to get short on ideas when the other team finds a 2nd gear and starts getting aggressive. Ramsdale is very good...at distributing and playing the ball. Pope is very good...at making saves and commanding the box. Put them together and you'd have a star keeper. Unfortunately, we can't Frankenstein them.

 

[Stout]

fudge Newcastle.

 

[Stout]

Howe must drop Gordon to the bench. He's been atrocious. Would like to see Wissa and Woltemade on the field at the same time. Newcastle absolutely must be aggressive. If they get a lead, they absolutely cannot bunker and play like scared little kittens, which is their norm atm--they invited Burnley to go after them again and again in that second half, and IDGAF what Howe says about that game, they got battered.

Win and they might be close to a CL spot. Lose, and...well, it's a must win.

 

[Stout]

What a win! Newcastle go 6th. Feel bad for Fabby's injury, though.

 

[Stout]

If Man City or the Gooners want to spend big money for Livramento in the summer, I say the Mags should bank the money, sign a new RB, and have lots of money left to strengthen other areas. Dude just gets back from a major inury...and is out 2 months with a hammy. I'm not trying to bag on the kid; he is truly a talent. Problem is, the best ability is availability, and he ain't got much of that.

 

[Weenus O'Baggins]

Wait is there a soccer team where their nick name is Gooning?

 

[Stout]

Wait is there a soccer team where their nick name is Gooning?

The Gooners.

 

[Mulli]

The Gooners.

THE GOONERS

 

[Weenus O'Baggins]

The Gooners.

Yeah that term has devolved into some very unflattering slang now. This is from Urban Dictionary

Spoiler

gooner​

A person who commits the act of gooning. In more extreme cases, many people choose to go so far with gooning, that they willingly develop a porn addiction and base their life around it. To them, porn is everything. There is no ultimatum greater than porn, and many even seek out other gooners just to discuss how amazing porn is, as their life spirals into complete depravity.

How someone goons to porn, and the process of forcing themselves to turning into a porn addict isn't wholly clear-cut; some prefer to refer themselves as a pornosexual. Gooners are often total weirdos with bragging about being addicted, and call pornstars goddesses.

Moral of the story: porn this, porn that, just do whatever pleases you, even if it means being a gooner.
Chad: *fapping to porn on 3 monitors*
Brad: *walks into the room* Hey Chad, the mail just came and- Oh my God, dude! That's disgusting, how long have you been doing this for?!
Chad: I woke up at 6 this morning, and I've been jerking off since, man.
Brad: Wait, what?! It's 3PM already!
Chad: I've become a gooner. All I want anymore is porn.

 

[Mulli]

Kids ruin everything, but I don’t know that that slang is what Arsenal supporters mean by the term

 

[Stout]

The term means different things.

 

[Stout]

Through to at least the knockout stages. Outstanding!

 

[Stout]

Meanwhile, in news about Sunderland's European adventures...

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[Stout]

Its awesome that PSG cannot beat Newcastle in the Champion's League. It sucks that the refs love them so much they try to gift PSG the games in Paris. It's great that Newcastle moves on from the group stages of the CL for the first time ever. It sucks that the refs didn't give the proper penalty, or Newcastle would be through without having to play a two-legged playoff. It's amazing that Newcastle should have three wins over PSG, two in Paris, rather than a win and two draws.

 

[Stout]

Nice draw for Newcastle getting Qarabag for the 2-game playoff. And away for the first game!