Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[joeshmo]

Terrible movie. It was better than the 2nd but that really doesn't mean anything. So many things wrong with this movie but none of them mystified me more than this:

Spoiler

Why the hell did the Transformers have blood when they were killed yet when the humans were shot they exploded and looked like machines?

After the last two movies there is no way I'll see a 4th.

So you were mystified that machines leaked fluids and Robot Lazers disinegrated human flesh leaving nothing but their Skeletons and clothes?

 

[Mulli]

I am a bit surprised that the people who didn't like it missed the funniest part of the movie

Spoiler

The bimbo love interest (who was WAY better than Megan Fox in all aspects) had a white jacket on in the final scenes. It showed no dirt whatsoever until the final seconds. That was awesome. My wife called it when she appeared wearing the jacket. "I hope she never gets dirty." Exploding buildings, crawling on ground, running through school buses.....just a tiny hole behind her shoulder. Awesome!!

 

[Mulli]

Ya, Shia is always the same, but this is the Transformers. He is not asked to do much else. who cares.

 

[Shane]

Terrible movie. It was better than the 2nd but that really doesn't mean anything. So many things wrong with this movie but none of them mystified me more than this:

Spoiler

Why the hell did the Transformers have blood when they were killed yet when the humans were shot they exploded and looked like machines?

After the last two movies there is no way I'll see a 4th.

So you were mystified that machines leaked fluids and Robot Lazers disinegrated human flesh leaving nothing but their Skeletons and clothes?

Totally agree Joe. Of all the complaints about the movie that was the weirdest one I have seen.

 

[Cheesebeef]

the first hour of this movie was atrocious. the rest was entertaining. better than the second, still nowhere near as good as the first.

 

[Mathew81]

Michael Bay reuses footage from The Island for Transformers.

 

[Renz]

Michael Bay reuses footage from The Island for Transformers.

LOL. I'd expect nothing less.

 

[Linderbee]

the first hour of this movie was atrocious. the rest was entertaining. better than the second, still nowhere near as good as the first.

EXACTLY what I said. Overall, I guess it was ok...but the first half sucked so bad. The autobots bleeding for the first time in 3 movies was ridiculous.

 

[azsportsfan01]

So you were mystified that machines leaked fluids and Robot Lazers disinegrated human flesh leaving nothing but their Skeletons and clothes?

They never did this in the first movies and the fluid was red, blatantly looking like blood.

 

[Bert]

Well, some critics and some ASFNers (jk, I love you guys) duped me again, I walked out of #2 it was so bad but then I saw all the praise and positive words about this one so I decided to check it out. I saw it tonight and IMO it was terrible. I'm all for popcorn flicks but I have my limits where the stupidity just becomes too much to bear. A few thoughts:

Spoiler

I try to be fun and not complain when the amazing spy/butler "Dutch" hacks encrypted computer signals that are unbreakable through a dinky terminal in a hotel room or an airplane hanger or tracks a cell phone from a dinner table, I let all that stuff go because it's a means to an end, but at some point even my 7 year old is saying, uhh you cant do that.

The setup was atleast an hour long and nothing was happening. Like when soundwave attacked them at Chernobyl when it was 10 on 1 but they're just like, meh, let him go, nothing bad can come from letting him exist, I mean we're here to hunt him down but w/e, I'm tired.

Optimus Prime is the worst "hero" I've ever seen in a movie. He's supposed to be a "prime" which means he's a total badass, yet he's ALWAYS 10 minutes late to the show, he ALWAYS get's his ass kicked and then he magically gets a break to defeat EVERYONE at the end. For example, he flies in at the end and totally destroys about 20 enemy robots with ease thanks to his amazing spinning Ninja move, only to be thwarted by getting tangled in some steel cables which he cannot escape even with 5 robots trying to help him, then gets his ass kicked by the main villian, they monologue throught the fight and then OP suddenly kills him and Megatron with one arm.

Not to mention Shia, the chick and all the main military guys falling out of a building, sliding down a building, falling through glass, falling through another building, falling off space ships, falling out of cars, jumping out of planes, and not getting ANY injuries that require any more medical treatment than a warm shower.

What happened to not negotiating with terrorists America? The enemy robots are taking over and threaten us with war and want humans to banish the only beings on the planet who can possibly keep up with them and we're just like; "ok thats cool, there's no way there's an alternative plan here."

Also you gotta love Frances Mcdormands (obligatory 'person in charge who refuses to accept reality) character. The other prime betrays them all and is destroying the base and is raiding the vault with a bunch of decepticon buddies and her strategy is to say; "HEY SENTINEL, WHADDA YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN!?!?!!" wow, just wow

And how bout Patrick Dempsey's character,,, this dude is supposedly looking out for #1 yet even in the face of total defeat and the opportunity to save earth he suddenly develops unyeilding loyalty (totally out of character) to the decepticons and is now hell bent on helping them destroy his planet even though he has seen that they will obviously not honor their agreement with him, thus betraying his mercenary motives.

It's like they make a terrible movie with a plot that makes no sense with terrible acting but there is stuff blowing up and someone saying "We're fightin for FREEDOM" and everyone gushes over it. I really just wanted it to be over, and I still dont appreciate Michael Bay constantly killing hundreds of service-men in his movies with little-to-no fan fare, simply considering them all collateral damage. Everytime a robot dies the movie goes into slow-mo and tears for 10 mins but he kills off dozens of Marines in every film without batting an eye.

It was so terrible I cant believe I'm wasting my time typing about it but seriously, it was so bad I needed to vent. That's all kids.

 

[Shane]

EXACTLY what I said. Overall, I guess it was ok...but the first half sucked so bad. The autobots bleeding for the first time in 3 movies was ridiculous.

They never did this in the first movies and the fluid was red, blatantly looking like blood.

You guys obviously dont pay attention or have sucky memories.

Just started to re-watch revenge of the fallen tonight and at 1 hour and 43 seconds in during the scene where they fight in the forest Optimus gets punched in the face and RED fluid goes flying from his face. Then he spits and more red fluid.

Then at 1 hour 1 minute and 50 seconds Optimus pulls the head apart on a decepticon and sure enough red fluid comes oozing out.

You guys are wrong so sounds like complaining for sake of complaining.

 

[AzStevenCal]

Well, some critics and some ASFNers (jk, I love you guys) duped me again, I walked out of #2 it was so bad but then I saw all the praise and positive words about this one so I decided to check it out. I saw it tonight and IMO it was terrible. I'm all for popcorn flicks but I have my limits where the stupidity just becomes too much to bear. A few thoughts:

Spoiler

I try to be fun and not complain when the amazing spy/butler "Dutch" hacks encrypted computer signals that are unbreakable through a dinky terminal in a hotel room or an airplane hanger or tracks a cell phone from a dinner table, I let all that stuff go because it's a means to an end, but at some point even my 7 year old is saying, uhh you cant do that.

The setup was atleast an hour long and nothing was happening. Like when soundwave attacked them at Chernobyl when it was 10 on 1 but they're just like, meh, let him go, nothing bad can come from letting him exist, I mean we're here to hunt him down but w/e, I'm tired.

Optimus Prime is the worst "hero" I've ever seen in a movie. He's supposed to be a "prime" which means he's a total badass, yet he's ALWAYS 10 minutes late to the show, he ALWAYS get's his ass kicked and then he magically gets a break to defeat EVERYONE at the end. For example, he flies in at the end and totally destroys about 20 enemy robots with ease thanks to his amazing spinning Ninja move, only to be thwarted by getting tangled in some steel cables which he cannot escape even with 5 robots trying to help him, then gets his ass kicked by the main villian, they monologue throught the fight and then OP suddenly kills him and Megatron with one arm.

Not to mention Shia, the chick and all the main military guys falling out of a building, sliding down a building, falling through glass, falling through another building, falling off space ships, falling out of cars, jumping out of planes, and not getting ANY injuries that require any more medical treatment than a warm shower.

What happened to not negotiating with terrorists America? The enemy robots are taking over and threaten us with war and want humans to banish the only beings on the planet who can possibly keep up with them and we're just like; "ok thats cool, there's no way there's an alternative plan here."

Also you gotta love Frances Mcdormands (obligatory 'person in charge who refuses to accept reality) character. The other prime betrays them all and is destroying the base and is raiding the vault with a bunch of decepticon buddies and her strategy is to say; "HEY SENTINEL, WHADDA YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN!?!?!!" wow, just wow

And how bout Patrick Dempsey's character,,, this dude is supposedly looking out for #1 yet even in the face of total defeat and the opportunity to save earth he suddenly develops unyeilding loyalty (totally out of character) to the decepticons and is now hell bent on helping them destroy his planet even though he has seen that they will obviously not honor their agreement with him, thus betraying his mercenary motives.

It's like they make a terrible movie with a plot that makes no sense with terrible acting but there is stuff blowing up and someone saying "We're fightin for FREEDOM" and everyone gushes over it. I really just wanted it to be over, and I still dont appreciate Michael Bay constantly killing hundreds of service-men in his movies with little-to-no fan fare, simply considering them all collateral damage. Everytime a robot dies the movie goes into slow-mo and tears for 10 mins but he kills off dozens of Marines in every film without batting an eye.

It was so terrible I cant believe I'm wasting my time typing about it but seriously, it was so bad I needed to vent. That's all kids.

I think, as a general rule, you can safely ignore movie reviews on this site when it's about something that is particularly tied to a generation other than your own. If you were born before the mid 60's or after the late 70's there's a good chance you won't feel the same way about Transformers as those that grew up watching this stuff. I'm not saying someone outside of that age range can't like it also, just that we're less likely to accept some things that the Transformers generation takes for granted. I love action movies but it wouldn't even cross my mind to head for a theater when a Transformers movie comes out no matter how many "man this movie is awesome" comments I come across.

Steve

 

[Linderbee]

You guys obviously dont pay attention or have sucky memories.

Just started to re-watch revenge of the fallen tonight and at 1 hour and 43 seconds in during the scene where they fight in the forest Optimus gets punched in the face and RED fluid goes flying from his face. Then he spits and more red fluid.

Then at 1 hour 1 minute and 50 seconds Optimus pulls the head apart on a decepticon and sure enough red fluid comes oozing out.

You guys are wrong so sounds like complaining for sake of complaining.

Or, I don't remember that happening in the 2nd movie. But, you go ahead & put whatever spin on it you want.

I'm actually glad to hear that. I won't rewatch the 2nd one to see what you're talking about, but I'll take your word for it.

 

[Linderbee]

Well, some critics and some ASFNers (jk, I love you guys) duped me again, I walked out of #2 it was so bad but then I saw all the praise and positive words about this one so I decided to check it out. I saw it tonight and IMO it was terrible. I'm all for popcorn flicks but I have my limits where the stupidity just becomes too much to bear. A few thoughts:

Spoiler

I try to be fun and not complain when the amazing spy/butler "Dutch" hacks encrypted computer signals that are unbreakable through a dinky terminal in a hotel room or an airplane hanger or tracks a cell phone from a dinner table, I let all that stuff go because it's a means to an end, but at some point even my 7 year old is saying, uhh you cant do that.

The setup was atleast an hour long and nothing was happening. Like when soundwave attacked them at Chernobyl when it was 10 on 1 but they're just like, meh, let him go, nothing bad can come from letting him exist, I mean we're here to hunt him down but w/e, I'm tired.

Optimus Prime is the worst "hero" I've ever seen in a movie. He's supposed to be a "prime" which means he's a total badass, yet he's ALWAYS 10 minutes late to the show, he ALWAYS get's his ass kicked and then he magically gets a break to defeat EVERYONE at the end. For example, he flies in at the end and totally destroys about 20 enemy robots with ease thanks to his amazing spinning Ninja move, only to be thwarted by getting tangled in some steel cables which he cannot escape even with 5 robots trying to help him, then gets his ass kicked by the main villian, they monologue throught the fight and then OP suddenly kills him and Megatron with one arm.

Not to mention Shia, the chick and all the main military guys falling out of a building, sliding down a building, falling through glass, falling through another building, falling off space ships, falling out of cars, jumping out of planes, and not getting ANY injuries that require any more medical treatment than a warm shower.

What happened to not negotiating with terrorists America? The enemy robots are taking over and threaten us with war and want humans to banish the only beings on the planet who can possibly keep up with them and we're just like; "ok thats cool, there's no way there's an alternative plan here."

Also you gotta love Frances Mcdormands (obligatory 'person in charge who refuses to accept reality) character. The other prime betrays them all and is destroying the base and is raiding the vault with a bunch of decepticon buddies and her strategy is to say; "HEY SENTINEL, WHADDA YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN!?!?!!" wow, just wow

And how bout Patrick Dempsey's character,,, this dude is supposedly looking out for #1 yet even in the face of total defeat and the opportunity to save earth he suddenly develops unyeilding loyalty (totally out of character) to the decepticons and is now hell bent on helping them destroy his planet even though he has seen that they will obviously not honor their agreement with him, thus betraying his mercenary motives.

It's like they make a terrible movie with a plot that makes no sense with terrible acting but there is stuff blowing up and someone saying "We're fightin for FREEDOM" and everyone gushes over it. I really just wanted it to be over, and I still dont appreciate Michael Bay constantly killing hundreds of service-men in his movies with little-to-no fan fare, simply considering them all collateral damage. Everytime a robot dies the movie goes into slow-mo and tears for 10 mins but he kills off dozens of Marines in every film without batting an eye.

It was so terrible I cant believe I'm wasting my time typing about it but seriously, it was so bad I needed to vent. That's all kids.

Thank you for putting into better words what I couldn't describe. The dialogue was HORRIBLE. All of the script writing for at least the first hour was just flat out BAD.

 

[Mulli]

SPOILER ALERT


I laugh at people getting all upset at the level of intelligence of these movies. If anything should be ENTIRELY CLEAR by now, the sole purpose of the whole movies is to set up the robot violence at the end. I was skeptical the ending of the movie would work, but I thought the robot carnage at the end made up for the silly first hour.

My first impression of O Prime was similar to Bert's, I even texted Shane similar sentiments.

But upon further reflection, O Prime still ends up being a super bad ass. He was just seriously out-numbered.

And most if not all comic book/cartoon her0 episodes include the hero getting captured/seemingly defeated before the hero rallies.




AND the John Malkovitch stuff ruled!!

 

[dreamcastrocks]

SPOILER ALERT


I laugh at people getting all upset at the level of intelligence of these movies. If anything should be ENTIRELY CLEAR by now, the sole purpose of the whole movies is to set up the robot violence at the end. I was skeptical the ending of the movie would work, but I thought the robot carnage at the end made up for the silly first hour.

My first impression of O Prime was similar to Bert's, I even texted Shane similar sentiments.

But upon further reflection, O Prime still ends up being a super bad ass. He was just seriously out-numbered.

And most if not all comic book/cartoon her0 episodes include the hero getting captured/seemingly defeated before the hero rallies.




AND the John Malkovitch stuff ruled!!

The thing about it is to me, is that this storyline was the most believable of all of them. You could actually picture our government starting the space race because of UFO's, especially after Roswell.

 

[Mulli]

The thing about it is to me, is that this storyline was the most believable of all of them. You could actually picture our government starting the space race because of UFO's, especially after Roswell.

Spoiler

I liked the Patrick Dempsey storyline, but I was disappointed the cool cars at his office weren't decepticons.

Agree.

 

[Linderbee]

SPOILER ALERT


I laugh at people getting all upset at the level of intelligence of these movies. If anything should be ENTIRELY CLEAR by now, the sole purpose of the whole movies is to set up the robot violence at the end. I was skeptical the ending of the movie would work, but I thought the robot carnage at the end made up for the silly first hour.

I don't mind "silly stuff" (for Pete's sake...Kung Pow is one of my favorite movies--I TRULY don't mind silly stuff)...I can go with lame story line/plot better than utterly stupid script writing. There was line after line that was clearly MEANT to be funny, and only one or two people in the entire audience even snickered. It wasn't funny (even though it was meant to be); it was just DUMB. This is, of course, mho, and I'm happy those that liked it, liked it. I was just not impressed.

 

[Mulli]

I don't mind "silly stuff" (for Pete's sake...Kung Pow is one of my favorite movies--I TRULY don't mind silly stuff)...I can go with lame story line/plot better than utterly stupid script writing. There was line after line that was clearly MEANT to be funny, and only one or two people in the entire audience even snickered. It wasn't funny (even though it was meant to be); it was just DUMB. This is, of course, mho, and I'm happy those that liked it, liked it. I was just not impressed.

Ya, I can see that. All of the parts that have Shia being thrown around by a hand he can't control were so dumb that I tuned it out.

I spent a lot of time taking my 3D glasses on and off to check out the effects to pass the time through those silly parts.

 

[dreamcastrocks]

I don't mind "silly stuff" (for Pete's sake...Kung Pow is one of my favorite movies--I TRULY don't mind silly stuff)...I can go with lame story line/plot better than utterly stupid script writing. There was line after line that was clearly MEANT to be funny, and only one or two people in the entire audience even snickered. It wasn't funny (even though it was meant to be); it was just DUMB. This is, of course, mho, and I'm happy those that liked it, liked it. I was just not impressed.

Different strokes I guess. I think Kung Pow is terrible. The parts you find hilarious get a snicker and a roll of the eyes from me.

 

[joeshmo]

I don't mind "silly stuff" (for Pete's sake...Kung Pow is one of my favorite movies--I TRULY don't mind silly stuff)...I can go with lame story line/plot better than utterly stupid script writing. There was line after line that was clearly MEANT to be funny, and only one or two people in the entire audience even snickered. It wasn't funny (even though it was meant to be); it was just DUMB. This is, of course, mho, and I'm happy those that liked it, liked it. I was just not impressed.

My packed audience was rolling, as was multiple of my co-workers audiences.

Kung Pow was freaking awesome though. Saw it buzzed with my brother and we laughed so hard our stomach muscles hurt for a week. Best core workout ever. Great drunken night movie.

 

[joeshmo]

They never did this in the first movies and the fluid was red, blatantly looking like blood.

I guess you have never worked on hydrolics or a transmission before. Very much so looks red and like blood.

 

[dreamcastrocks]

I guess you have never worked on hydrolics or a transmission before. Very much so looks red and like blood.

Exactly. Wouldn't people expect to see things when they zoom in closer on the action scenes that you didn't see as much of otherwise?

 

[Mulli]

Exactly. Wouldn't people expect to see things when they zoom in closer on the action scenes that you didn't see as much of otherwise?

I didn't care about the fluids from the robots, was just wondering how one of the Bots had parts that looked like a beard. And had a vehicle shape he could go into after being trapped on the moon for at least decades...

 

[dreamcastrocks]

My packed audience was rolling, as was multiple of my co-workers audiences.

Kung Pow was freaking awesome though. Saw it buzzed with my brother and we laughed so hard our stomach muscles hurt for a week. Best core workout ever. Great drunken night movie.

Linda does have a point about the comedy. It wasn't funny. I think I slightly laughed at one of the jokes, the rest were very blah.

I can definitely see how Kung Pow could be funny to some. It isn't for me though.