Well it's that time of year again. Tax time, of course, but that's not what I'm talking about. No, the old calendar on the wall is saying it is time once again for the second annual "jefftheshark's annual mock draft" extravaganza.
As usual, I have spent grueling hours & hours pouring over mind-numbing stat after stat to bring you the fruit of my insight on how I believe the first 11 picks will unfold during this year's NFL draft. Please, though, no wagering - this was done, not for personal gain, but to share with the world what I personally would like to see on my HDTV a week from Friday night.
So with no further fanfare, I present:
Oops! Except the jefftheshark legal team insisted I place the following disclaimer:
Disclaimer MUST OPEN FIRST:
Number 1 - Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs have more issues than one draft pick can resolve. Going out on a limb. I say they trade down and get two picks. I'm sure they're looking at these two. At least they should be looking at them - because I know I've have - a lot. So far I have been unable to discover any reason they wouldn't work well in any position I, oops - I mean "they" can dream up.
Besides, what is more "Kansas City" than B-B-Q?
Number Two - Jacksonville Jaguars
Jacksonville needs someone who knows how to tackle. A special someone who knows how to get low, use leverage and attack from a 4-point stance in order to stuff the run. Or stuff an American flag for that matter:
Number Three - Oakland Raiders
We got their old signal caller, now they get one of their own.
I leave it to you as to who got the better end of the deal.
Number Four - Philadelphia Eagles
This team is a mystery. They seem to get the draft right, only to have it blow up in their faces. Year after year they think they're drafting Tarzan yet end up with someone else.
Number Five - Detroit Lions
It's cold in Detroit. I don't like the cold although penguins do. I know that penguins play in Pittsburgh but this is my mock draft so sue me if I go off track a bit.
But I digress. This year Detroit is going for someone already used to the cold. I mean, just look at the ready-made goose bumps on this year's number 5 selection.
Number Six - Cleveland Browns
All I know is that they need some excitement in the Dawg Pound and this pick might provide it. I'm thinking tight end.
Number Seven - Arizona Cardinals
When they talk about Guards and how they generate their power the discussion turns to "bubble" - "That's the butt, Bob" for those of you not as knowlegable on the subject as yours truly.
So here is a powerful bubble for you to ruminate upon.
Number Eight - Buffalo Bills
The Raiders messed everything up by taking a QB, so the Bills take a page from the old Cardinal playbook. When you don't have any idea who to select - take a wide receiver!
But at least they take a fast one:
Number Nine - NY Jets! Jets! Jets!
Chris Berman chants Jets! Jets! Jets! so many times the Commish gives New York 3 picks by mistake. The new GM almost tears a groin muscle rushing his pick(s) to the podium.
Number Ten - Tennessee Titans
Granted I get most of my knowlege about Tennessee from watching Justified on FX. That being said, I know you need speed when hauling butt across the field - especially to keep one step ahead of the Revenuers - so what better way to do this than to go old school.
It might take a minute or two to register, but that's the General Lee in the background
Number Eleven - San Diego Chargers
Last but not least, San Diego has a new offensive coordinator - I can't remember his name, but I know he's got a reputation for recognizing talent. Not a good reputation, but one nonetheless.
So this will not be his pick:
Well that's all for this year - the Swami is exhausted from all the researching for this year's selections, plus it will take a couple of hours to clean up the hard drive so that Mrs. Shark doesn't wonder why Mr. Shark is so damn interested in the draft.
Enjoy!
JTS
As usual, I have spent grueling hours & hours pouring over mind-numbing stat after stat to bring you the fruit of my insight on how I believe the first 11 picks will unfold during this year's NFL draft. Please, though, no wagering - this was done, not for personal gain, but to share with the world what I personally would like to see on my HDTV a week from Friday night.
So with no further fanfare, I present:
Oops! Except the jefftheshark legal team insisted I place the following disclaimer:
Disclaimer MUST OPEN FIRST:
If pictures of girls in bikinis, etc is NSFW then you might consider waiting until you're home, or in the bathroom, to view the JTS mock draft 
Number 1 - Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs have more issues than one draft pick can resolve. Going out on a limb. I say they trade down and get two picks. I'm sure they're looking at these two. At least they should be looking at them - because I know I've have - a lot. So far I have been unable to discover any reason they wouldn't work well in any position I, oops - I mean "they" can dream up.
Besides, what is more "Kansas City" than B-B-Q?
You must be registered for see images
Number Two - Jacksonville Jaguars
Jacksonville needs someone who knows how to tackle. A special someone who knows how to get low, use leverage and attack from a 4-point stance in order to stuff the run. Or stuff an American flag for that matter:
You must be registered for see images
Number Three - Oakland Raiders
We got their old signal caller, now they get one of their own.
I leave it to you as to who got the better end of the deal.
You must be registered for see images attach
Number Four - Philadelphia Eagles
This team is a mystery. They seem to get the draft right, only to have it blow up in their faces. Year after year they think they're drafting Tarzan yet end up with someone else.
You must be registered for see images
Number Five - Detroit Lions
It's cold in Detroit. I don't like the cold although penguins do. I know that penguins play in Pittsburgh but this is my mock draft so sue me if I go off track a bit.
But I digress. This year Detroit is going for someone already used to the cold. I mean, just look at the ready-made goose bumps on this year's number 5 selection.
You must be registered for see images
Number Six - Cleveland Browns
All I know is that they need some excitement in the Dawg Pound and this pick might provide it. I'm thinking tight end.
You must be registered for see images attach
Number Seven - Arizona Cardinals
When they talk about Guards and how they generate their power the discussion turns to "bubble" - "That's the butt, Bob" for those of you not as knowlegable on the subject as yours truly.
So here is a powerful bubble for you to ruminate upon.
You must be registered for see images
Number Eight - Buffalo Bills
The Raiders messed everything up by taking a QB, so the Bills take a page from the old Cardinal playbook. When you don't have any idea who to select - take a wide receiver!
But at least they take a fast one:
You must be registered for see images attach
Number Nine - NY Jets! Jets! Jets!
Chris Berman chants Jets! Jets! Jets! so many times the Commish gives New York 3 picks by mistake. The new GM almost tears a groin muscle rushing his pick(s) to the podium.
You must be registered for see images
Number Ten - Tennessee Titans
Granted I get most of my knowlege about Tennessee from watching Justified on FX. That being said, I know you need speed when hauling butt across the field - especially to keep one step ahead of the Revenuers - so what better way to do this than to go old school.
It might take a minute or two to register, but that's the General Lee in the background
You must be registered for see images
Number Eleven - San Diego Chargers
Last but not least, San Diego has a new offensive coordinator - I can't remember his name, but I know he's got a reputation for recognizing talent. Not a good reputation, but one nonetheless.
So this will not be his pick:
You must be registered for see images
Well that's all for this year - the Swami is exhausted from all the researching for this year's selections, plus it will take a couple of hours to clean up the hard drive so that Mrs. Shark doesn't wonder why Mr. Shark is so damn interested in the draft.
Enjoy!
JTS
