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The latest wrinkle in LeBron James' free agency push is a hilarious one, as ESPN recounted on Thursday: Per Shams Charania, "Rich Paul, James' agent and the CEO of Klutch Sports, has facilitated team executives in selling their vision to him by sending a voice note for James via Paul."
That's right, teams are sending voice notes! It's all kinds of awkward to imagine, so we did just that, thinking about what some of the suitors might have done to get Paul and James' attention.
Here's our take on what those team execs and others might have sent to Paul this week.
[beeeep] Hi, you've reached the LeBron James free agent pitch hotline. Please leave your message after the tone for Rich Paul... except if you're the Los Angeles Lakers. [beeeep]
"Heyyyyyyyyy it's Koby. Koby Altman? You remember me! Let's forget about that time I said there was a 'level of hurt' when you left for L.A.! No worries! I have three words for you: Come back home. Do you last dance here. I paid off Donovan Mitchell so he wouldn't be hurt when you come to town. And Evan Mobley's good! And --
An interruption in the background. It's James Harden. "Koby? KOBY! ARE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH BRON?"
"Hold on. SHHH! James, shut up! You're gonna ruin this for us!!"
Harden: "TELL BRON I'LL EVEN PLAY DEFENSE FOR HALF THE GAMES! I'LL STOP SHOOTING IN THE PLAYOFFS! WHATEVER HE WANTS! I NEED MY RING!"
"JAMES SHUT--" [The call ends.]
"Bron. It's Pat Riley. THE Pat Riley. You know me. Giannis is here. Bam is here. You know what to do." [hangs up]
[The voice note starts in the middle of what sounds like a conversation already in progress, as if it's someone livestreaming on Twitch. There are clicks from a controller.]
"... And then Jayson Tatum ignored me for like, 15 months straight. And I swear he was coming back from that Achilles tear last season just to spite me. Whatever. He can kiss my--"
An interruption. It's Mike Gansey, the Sixers GM. "JAYLEN. It's live. Tell LeBron to come to Philly."
"Oh. Uh, hey. Come to Philly. I dunno, Joel says he's healthier than he's ever felt. Don't worry about sharing the ball with Tyrese and VJ, they're cool. Anyway, what was I saying before?"
It's pure chaos. Tim Connelly is trying to leave the message, but the sounds of Anthony Edwards and LaMelo Ball bickering are VERY loud.
"Hey, it's Tim Connelly of the Minnesota Timberwolves. LeBron, we need you and-- HEY! HEY! YOU TWO! PIPE DOWN BACK THERE OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND THIS INSTANT!" [The call abruptly ends.]
"Bron. It's definitely NOT Rob Pelinka. OK, fine. It is. We have Bronny and we're not trading him wherever you go. Think about THAT and get back to me."
This article originally appeared on For The Win: Imagining what 5 NBA teams' LeBron voice note pitches to Rich Paul sounded like
Continue reading...
That's right, teams are sending voice notes! It's all kinds of awkward to imagine, so we did just that, thinking about what some of the suitors might have done to get Paul and James' attention.
Here's our take on what those team execs and others might have sent to Paul this week.
The voice note message from Rich Paul
[beeeep] Hi, you've reached the LeBron James free agent pitch hotline. Please leave your message after the tone for Rich Paul... except if you're the Los Angeles Lakers. [beeeep]
The voice note from the Cavaliers
"Heyyyyyyyyy it's Koby. Koby Altman? You remember me! Let's forget about that time I said there was a 'level of hurt' when you left for L.A.! No worries! I have three words for you: Come back home. Do you last dance here. I paid off Donovan Mitchell so he wouldn't be hurt when you come to town. And Evan Mobley's good! And --
An interruption in the background. It's James Harden. "Koby? KOBY! ARE YOU ON THE PHONE WITH BRON?"
"Hold on. SHHH! James, shut up! You're gonna ruin this for us!!"
Harden: "TELL BRON I'LL EVEN PLAY DEFENSE FOR HALF THE GAMES! I'LL STOP SHOOTING IN THE PLAYOFFS! WHATEVER HE WANTS! I NEED MY RING!"
"JAMES SHUT--" [The call ends.]
The voice note from the Miami Heat
"Bron. It's Pat Riley. THE Pat Riley. You know me. Giannis is here. Bam is here. You know what to do." [hangs up]
The voice note from the Philadelphia 76ers
[The voice note starts in the middle of what sounds like a conversation already in progress, as if it's someone livestreaming on Twitch. There are clicks from a controller.]
"... And then Jayson Tatum ignored me for like, 15 months straight. And I swear he was coming back from that Achilles tear last season just to spite me. Whatever. He can kiss my--"
An interruption. It's Mike Gansey, the Sixers GM. "JAYLEN. It's live. Tell LeBron to come to Philly."
"Oh. Uh, hey. Come to Philly. I dunno, Joel says he's healthier than he's ever felt. Don't worry about sharing the ball with Tyrese and VJ, they're cool. Anyway, what was I saying before?"
The voice note from the Minnesota Timberwolves
It's pure chaos. Tim Connelly is trying to leave the message, but the sounds of Anthony Edwards and LaMelo Ball bickering are VERY loud.
"Hey, it's Tim Connelly of the Minnesota Timberwolves. LeBron, we need you and-- HEY! HEY! YOU TWO! PIPE DOWN BACK THERE OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND THIS INSTANT!" [The call abruptly ends.]
The voice note from the Los Angeles Lakers
"Bron. It's definitely NOT Rob Pelinka. OK, fine. It is. We have Bronny and we're not trading him wherever you go. Think about THAT and get back to me."
This article originally appeared on For The Win: Imagining what 5 NBA teams' LeBron voice note pitches to Rich Paul sounded like
Continue reading...
