Yeah, personally, it's incredibly difficult and frustrating. Thankfully I don't have thoughts of self-harm, but there are severely debilitating symptoms I have to deal with on the daily. Some days worse than others. And yeah, it can be years before finding the right medication. I'll tell you if I ever do.
Yeah... I'm bipolar as hell. Wasn't a huge issue (that "I" noticed) when I was young because I was manic most of the time and honestly felt great.
But...around 45 my mania evolved into what's called "Anger Mania" ...and depressive episodes became far more frequent and started lasting for weeks to months instead of just a few days.
Anger mania is no joke...the smallest thing can snowball into a homicidal violent rage in minutes.
Latuda worked well for me for several years but I had to stop taking it for fear of stroke...started getting stabbing pains in the side of my brain a few times a week.
Now I remain unmedicated, so I stay home...do my best to limit my exposure to idiots...but I live in California....so I stay home...
I'm telling ya man..wow...
I can start by calmly telling someone," ya know..that's a messed up thing to do" ...and it snowballs until 20 seconds later I'm raging, screaming, veins bulging in my forehead...
I have found the most effective deterrent is to remain silent, smile, and walk away. It can't snowball if I never let it get started...but holy christ! Shut up and walk away has never been in my DNA.....I have developed so damn many facial tics since moving back to California....place is a potato farm
