Simmons on the game

[abomb]

Q: Dare we ask where Monday night's Cardinals loss ranks in the "Levels of Losing" pantheon? It certainly wasn't stomach-punch material, because nobody in that stadium really believed they were ever going to win, even up 20-0 at halftime. Those fans just knew something bad was going to happen and it did.
--Mike, Phoenix

SG: Well, you just answered your own question. That was a textbook Guillotine Game. You know what else was interesting? That may have been the first time that an NFL team prevailed in a "no f-ing way game," those "Madden" games where something gets triggered in the artificial intelligence and the game decides, "there's no f-ing way you're winning this game." I just had one last week -- a six-game winning streak that ended in Jacksonville when I turned the ball over EIGHT TIMES in the first half. Of course, the big difference was that I threw the controller against a wall and angrily pressed the RESET button, whereas Lovie Smith and the Bears had to keep playing and hoping that the Bears D and Denny Green could combine to make up a 20-point deficit without a floundering Rex Grossman having to make a single play. Which actually happened. Amazing.

Level III: The Guillotine
Definition: This one combines the devastation of the Broken Axle game with sweeping bitterness and hostility ... your team's hanging tough (hell, they might even be winning), but you can feel the inevitable breakdown coming, and you keep waiting for the guillotine to drop, and you just know it's coming -- you know it -- and when it finally comes, you're angry that it happened and you're angry at yourself for contributing to the debilitating karma ... these are the games when people end up whipping their remote controls against a wall or breaking their hands while pounding a coffee table ... too many of these and you'll end up in prison.

Best Example: Game 7 of the '97 World Series (Indians-Marlins), when Cleveland's Jose Mesa gave up the game-tying run in the ninth inning. Every Indians fan knew it was coming. Of course, the '97 World Series never happened, so it's probably a moot point. We need to get that one wiped out of the record books.

Personal Memory: Just about every crucial Bruins-Canadiens playoff game from the '70s, especially the unforgettable "Too Many Men on the Ice" game in '79, when the B's blew a chance to advance to the Cup finals by getting called for one of the lamest penalties in hockey (Guy Lafleur tied the score in the final minute, then the Habs finished us off in OT). One of two games that actually made Young Sports Guy cry in the '70s (along with the '78 Yanks-Sox playoff game); I couldn't figure out how I was 8 years old, yet I knew the Canadiens were coming back. Just excruciating.

I disagree. I think it is this one, because of Rackers;

Level II: The Stomach Punch
Definition: Now we've moved into rarefied territory, any roller-coaster game that ends with A) an opponent making a pivotal (sometimes improbable) play, or B) one of your guys failing in the clutch ... usually ends with fans filing out after the game in stunned disbelief, if they can even move at all ... always haunting, sometimes scarring ... there are degrees to the Stomach Punch Game, depending on the situation ... for instance, Sunday's Kings-Lakers game and Monday's Celts-Nets game featured agonizing endings, but they weren't nearly as agonizing as Cleveland's Earnest Byner fumbling against Denver when he was about two yards and 0.2 seconds away from sending the Browns to the Super Bowl).

Best Example: Wouldn't it have to be the Titans-Bills playoff game from '99, when the Bills kicked the alleged game-winning field goal in the final seconds, then Tennessee pulled off that miracle Wycheck-to-Dyson lateral play for the game-winning TD (on the kickoff, with no time remaining)? Not only was that a Top 5 Stomach Punch game, it doubled as the greatest Gambling Moment of all-time (since Tennessee ended up covering by a half-point). That was un-beeeeeeeeeeeeeee-lievable.

Personal Memory: Magic draining that baby sky hook to topple the Celts in Game 4 of the '87 Finals, capping off a Celtics collapse and preceding Bird nearly saving the game at the buzzer (he missed a 25-foot prayer by about 1/100th of an inch). Fifteen years have passed and I still haven't fully recovered from that chain of events. Unreal.

 

[Kel Varnsen]

Yeah, we got ripped pretty hard on Page 2...but they spelled Bidwill wrong at least twice, so who knows how bright they really are?

 

[JPlay]

This is the funniest thing I've heard in response to the game. It's so true. If it happened in a video game I would accuse the computer of cheating and reset the game.