53-58: Chart

[ASFN Admin]

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SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - JULY 31: Dominic Canzone #8 of the Seattle Mariners reacts after striking out during the fifth inning against the Minnesota Twins at T-Mobile Park on July 31, 2026 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Olivia Vanni/Getty Images) | Getty Images

Twins 5, Mariners 3

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Clever, light-hearted japery in rhyme: Cal Raleigh, .16 WPA (hey! A Cal Raleigh WPA lead!)

Getting dragged to an open mic night where the theme is sadness: Eduard Bazardo, -.25 WPA

Game thread comment of the day:

I think this is also a poem

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And a bonus, because if you watched this stinker, you deserve a bonus and I cannot give you a monetary one:

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