The witch doctor did his job on Harry Kane

[ASFN Admin]

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England's forward #09 Harry Kane reacts after missing a goal opportunity during the 2026 World Cup Group L football match between England and Ghana at the Boston Stadium in Foxborough on June 23, 2026. (Photo by MAURO PIMENTEL / AFP via Getty Images) | AFP via Getty Images

As England scuffled through a 0-0 draw with Ghana (Tuchel-ball at its finest), there was one underlying storyline that caught our attention — that witch doctor can’t miss.

While the Bayern Munich and England star (thankfully) did not get hurt while working under the spell of the witch doctor, he did not exactly light the world afire either.

After a full season of domination, Kane was felled by the dark arts. Kane was a non-factor and barely involved as he registered just 19 touches in 90 minutes. Kane lost possession on 5 of those 19 touches as well. The Bayern Munich striker completed 7 of his 10 passes, and had 3 shots (1 on target).

Needless to say, that was not the kind of performance many expected from Kane…except the witch doctor.

Somehow, England’s Jude Bellingham was named Player of the Match and even he thought that was nonsense:

Jude Bellingham: “I didn’t deserve the Man of the Match award”.

“In my view, it should have gone to a Ghana player.” pic.twitter.com/S4oqEURvlf

— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) June 23, 2026

Amen, Jude, amen.

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