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CLEVELAND, OHIO - JULY 20: Petey Halpin #0 of the Cleveland Guardians celebrates with Patrick Bailey #16 of the Cleveland Guardians after Bailey hit a solo home run during the seventh inning against the Minnesota Twins at Progressive Field on July 20, 2026 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images) | Getty Images
If Home Runs are the world’s curse, may God smite me with them. And may I never recover!
The Guardians managed to take a large chunk out of their negative run differential tonight beating the Twins 13-3 and going to a mere -3 run differential. They also hit seven homers, six of which were off of Joe Ryan who is a very good pitcher. But, not tonight he wasn’t.
Tonight was like when your one aunt who always gives you clothes for Christmas shows up with a large box that is clearly the Playstation gaming system your parents could never afford. You just don’t quite know how to process it. I am sure Tanner Bibee felt that way given the incredibly small amount of run support he has seen all year long and the way the floodgates opened today.
Earlier today, I had puzzled out that Petey Halpin would probably return to Columbus when Angel Martinez comes off his rehab assignment. I was fine with Halpin or Watson, but Watson seems to have slightly more potential. Anyway, Petey Halpin went 3 for 5 today with two home runs:
Rhys Hoskins ALSO hit two home runs. That had to feel good for someone who has had a very disappointing past couple months:
Brayan Rocchio, Travis Bazzana and Patrick Bailey ALSO homered and Bailey went 4 for 5.
Chase DeLauter went 4 for 5 with 2 doubles, Daniel Schneemann went 2 for 5. 19 hits and 2 walks today, including 8 runs off of Joey Ryan who was the sacrificial lamb for the good of the Twins’ bullpen. Ryan’s ERA went up by about half a run for the season today. Insane.
Bibee gave up 2 runs and struck out 5 in six innings, and Collin Holderman, Matt Festa and Sean Armstrong finished out a rare comfortable win for Cleveland.
Is this a sign of something getting unlocked? Thunder from the approaching storm of Jose’s return? Or, simply a random night of joy in this incredibly random game? Time will tell but no one should do anything but enjoy it tonight.
Oh yeah… Kyle Manzardo even got a hit!
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