- Joined
- May 8, 2002
- Posts
- 1,170,861
- Reaction score
- 59
The upcoming White House UFC fight will feature some manly mixed-martial-arts men and man-o-sphere macho maniacs who, in a world of beta men, fear nothing.
Well, almost nothing. Turns out they’re a little afraid of bugs.
Dana White, noted tough guy and head of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, recently said he’s concerned about the event, which falls on Trump’s June 14 birthday. (Maybe the president will have a bouncy house there as well!)
White isn’t worried about strong men clobbering the snot out of each other in an octagonal cage. No, he said, a recent visit to the Rose Garden with the president showed him something truly scary: “He invited me to dinner there. The amount of gnats that are flying around, I'm like, 'Holy (expletive).' As soon as I got on the plane, I got on the phone with my head of production and said, 'Yeah, let me tell you about the gnat situation tonight.’”
That’s right, folks. Gnats. Trump’s White House lawn display of violence and machismo has one major problem. The organizers and associated man-dudes are worried about bugs.
I would’ve thought they might be worried about being forever associated with a wildly unpopular president whose cruelty and recklessness have torn the country apart and tanked the economy. But no. It’s just the gnats and skeeters and whatnot.
Opinion: America celebrated together at 200. We won't at 250.
Bro-dude podcaster Joe Rogan said on his show recently: “The bugs are a big one. Gnats. What are you going to do about that? How are they going to f-----g do anything about the bugs, because I know that Dana was talking about that recently, they were talking about maybe using fans. Is that enough? Got bug strips everywhere? What are you going to do? How are you going to stop the bugs, there’s a lot of bugs.”
BUGS! SO MANY BUGS!
I didn’t expect that UFC fighters, fans and organizers would be so flummoxed by a situation routinely navigated by picnickers.
"In your mouth, in your nose while you're trying to fight," White said May 18 on the sports network Boardroom. “I was telling Craig, my head of production, I was like, 'Maybe we put fans in, because gnats have a hard time in the wind.’ I don't know. These are all the little details that we have to think about. That's why I don't like fighting outside. Ever.”
Here’s a thought. If people who get their faces bashed in for a living draw the line at “bug up the nose,” maybe White should have reconsidered holding an mixed martial arts fight in Washington, DC, in June. That’s bug season, baby. You’re stepping onto the gnats’ turf, and I’m not at all convinced your fighters are up to the task.
Making matters worse, the UFC has made the White House lawn look like an under-construction amusement park, erecting massive intersecting arches ‒ known as “The Claw” ‒ that will hold lights and television screens. Under the arches will be the famed octagon ring where the fighters brawl and, apparently, live in mortal fear of insects.
Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store.
“When you're a fighter, think about that lighting grid, The Claw, that we're going to have (and) the amount of power in the lights," White said. "Moths, gnats, and God knows what else, fighters trying to deal with that.”
Moths. Gnats. Dragonflies. Maybe dragons. Who knows?
As a general rule, if you don't want to attract bugs in summer, don't put up a massive array of bright lights in your yard. What White and the UFC have done is effectively build a giant bug zapper, minus the zapper.
Canadian-American sports journalist Ariel Helwani recently addressed the UFC bug crisis on his podcast: "How the hell are they going to combat this?"
And Rogan said of the event: “The White House thing is odd. I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of fighting outside at all. June and it’s DC, and we looked it up, the last time, like last year, same day, was 100 degrees. That’s hot as f--k."
Have none of these people ever been outside in the summer? They're basically describing conditions that older adults who garden manage to survive just fine. They're making riverside anglers sound superhuman.
Time magazine recently ran a piece on White and the UFC that included this line: "Strange as it may sound, White talks about insects several times in our conversations. The UFC has had only one outdoor fight in its history, in Abu Dhabi in 2010, and it was humid and apparently buggy. 'Imagine fighting and you got bugs flying in your mouth or in your nose,' says White."
Or, alternately, imagine being in a cage with someone who proceeds to kick you in the stomach so hard your intestines explode. I don't think you're going to lie on the mat yelling, "HELP! A BUG WENT UP NOSE! GROSS!"
For the sake of the fighters, I hope insect repellent isn't a banned substance in the UFC. And as they are beaten and bloodied for President Tough-Guy's entertainment, I certainly hope the gnats don't get the better of them.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.
You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: UFC's Dana White scared of gnats at White House fight. LOL! | Opinion
Continue reading...
Well, almost nothing. Turns out they’re a little afraid of bugs.
Dana White, noted tough guy and head of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, recently said he’s concerned about the event, which falls on Trump’s June 14 birthday. (Maybe the president will have a bouncy house there as well!)
White isn’t worried about strong men clobbering the snot out of each other in an octagonal cage. No, he said, a recent visit to the Rose Garden with the president showed him something truly scary: “He invited me to dinner there. The amount of gnats that are flying around, I'm like, 'Holy (expletive).' As soon as I got on the plane, I got on the phone with my head of production and said, 'Yeah, let me tell you about the gnat situation tonight.’”
Trump's White House UFC event has tough guys worried about bugs
You must be registered for see images attach
That’s right, folks. Gnats. Trump’s White House lawn display of violence and machismo has one major problem. The organizers and associated man-dudes are worried about bugs.
I would’ve thought they might be worried about being forever associated with a wildly unpopular president whose cruelty and recklessness have torn the country apart and tanked the economy. But no. It’s just the gnats and skeeters and whatnot.
Opinion: America celebrated together at 200. We won't at 250.
Bro-dude podcaster Joe Rogan said on his show recently: “The bugs are a big one. Gnats. What are you going to do about that? How are they going to f-----g do anything about the bugs, because I know that Dana was talking about that recently, they were talking about maybe using fans. Is that enough? Got bug strips everywhere? What are you going to do? How are you going to stop the bugs, there’s a lot of bugs.”
BUGS! SO MANY BUGS!
I didn't expect UFC-loving alpha men would be so frightened of gnats
You must be registered for see images attach
I didn’t expect that UFC fighters, fans and organizers would be so flummoxed by a situation routinely navigated by picnickers.
"In your mouth, in your nose while you're trying to fight," White said May 18 on the sports network Boardroom. “I was telling Craig, my head of production, I was like, 'Maybe we put fans in, because gnats have a hard time in the wind.’ I don't know. These are all the little details that we have to think about. That's why I don't like fighting outside. Ever.”
Here’s a thought. If people who get their faces bashed in for a living draw the line at “bug up the nose,” maybe White should have reconsidered holding an mixed martial arts fight in Washington, DC, in June. That’s bug season, baby. You’re stepping onto the gnats’ turf, and I’m not at all convinced your fighters are up to the task.
The White House UFC setup is basically a bug magnet
You must be registered for see images attach
Making matters worse, the UFC has made the White House lawn look like an under-construction amusement park, erecting massive intersecting arches ‒ known as “The Claw” ‒ that will hold lights and television screens. Under the arches will be the famed octagon ring where the fighters brawl and, apparently, live in mortal fear of insects.
Opinion alerts: Get columns from your favorite columnists + expert analysis on top issues, delivered straight to your device through the USA TODAY app. Don't have the app? Download it for free from your app store.
“When you're a fighter, think about that lighting grid, The Claw, that we're going to have (and) the amount of power in the lights," White said. "Moths, gnats, and God knows what else, fighters trying to deal with that.”
Moths. Gnats. Dragonflies. Maybe dragons. Who knows?
'How the hell are they going to combat this?'
As a general rule, if you don't want to attract bugs in summer, don't put up a massive array of bright lights in your yard. What White and the UFC have done is effectively build a giant bug zapper, minus the zapper.
Canadian-American sports journalist Ariel Helwani recently addressed the UFC bug crisis on his podcast: "How the hell are they going to combat this?"
And Rogan said of the event: “The White House thing is odd. I don’t like it. I don’t like the idea of fighting outside at all. June and it’s DC, and we looked it up, the last time, like last year, same day, was 100 degrees. That’s hot as f--k."
Have none of these people ever been outside in the summer? They're basically describing conditions that older adults who garden manage to survive just fine. They're making riverside anglers sound superhuman.
I'm not afraid of gnats. Does that make me tougher than Dana White?
Time magazine recently ran a piece on White and the UFC that included this line: "Strange as it may sound, White talks about insects several times in our conversations. The UFC has had only one outdoor fight in its history, in Abu Dhabi in 2010, and it was humid and apparently buggy. 'Imagine fighting and you got bugs flying in your mouth or in your nose,' says White."
Or, alternately, imagine being in a cage with someone who proceeds to kick you in the stomach so hard your intestines explode. I don't think you're going to lie on the mat yelling, "HELP! A BUG WENT UP NOSE! GROSS!"
For the sake of the fighters, I hope insect repellent isn't a banned substance in the UFC. And as they are beaten and bloodied for President Tough-Guy's entertainment, I certainly hope the gnats don't get the better of them.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk.
You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: UFC's Dana White scared of gnats at White House fight. LOL! | Opinion
Continue reading...
