- Joined
- May 8, 2002
- Posts
- 438,609
- Reaction score
- 44
Shelby Houlihan sits in front of a computer during a Zoom interview and pulls up the bucket list she has saved on her laptop. Houlihan, who is staying at an Airbnb in Arizona while she trains, has 60 items on the list.
“I started it, gosh, maybe in 2015 or 2016,” Houlihan says.
The Sioux City native has been checking off things ever since. Houlihan was able to accomplish some of the items while she served a four-year ban from competitive running after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs.
“I’ve done 12,” Houlihan said with a smile. “So that’s pretty good.”
That list has been put on pause lately, though. Houlihan, once one of the top runners in the world, is back on the track competing. She’ll open the outdoor part of her season this week at the Drake Relays.
"Every year, whether I was in college or even pro, I'd just ask, 'Can I do Drake this year?'" Houlihan said.
Houlihan can finally return. Houlihan said she battled depression and suicidal thoughts during her ban from track and field, even contemplating walking away from the sport. But she's now back on the track and possibly better than ever despite all she's experienced.
"I'm just so incredibly proud of her," said her sister, Shayla Houlihan. "Her resilience is just incredible."
Houlihan will run in the USATF 1 Mile Road Championship on Tuesday for a chance to set the course and national record. She'll also try to qualify for Team USA ahead of the World Championships in September.
Houlihan also will compete in the women’s mile inside Drake Stadium on Saturday.
Running has always been who Houlihan is. The 32-year-old has been one of the sport's biggest names for a long time.
During her senior year at Sioux City East High School, Houlihan captured four state titles, beginning with a 2010 cross country win. She added state track championships in the 400, 800 and 1,500.
Houlihan was the star of the show at the Drake Relays, earning outstanding female high school performer in 2011 after becoming the first female athlete to win three individual events in a year.
That was just the start of things for Houlihan, who went on to become a 12-time NCAA Division I All-American at Arizona State. After college, Houlihan embarked on a successful professional career.
She ran in the 2016 Olympics in Rio Janeiro, Brazil. Then, in October 2019, she set the American record in the 1,500 with a time of 3 minutes, 54.99 seconds at the World Championships in Doha, Qatar.
A year later, Houlihan was back on top of the running world when she broke the U.S. 5,000 record with a time of 14:23.92 in Portland, Ore.
“She was at the pinnacle of her career,” sister Shayla said.
But Houlihan’s career took an unexpected turn after a 2020 test came back positive for nandrolone, an anabolic steroid. The positive test came out of nowhere, as far as Houlihan was concerned.
Houlihan insisted she wasn't cheating and tried to find out what triggered the positive test. The best she could come up with was a tainted pork burrito she'd bought from a food truck.
The reasoning seemed implausible to many, including a Court of Arbitration for Sport tribunal, which rejected her explanation. Houlihan was given a four-year ban.
"I just wanted to disappear," Houlihan said.
The ban hit her hard. Running was her life and much of her identity. Her schedule, for most of her life, was ruled by training and competing.
Houlihan missed out on many things her friends were doing so she could train, compete and stay in top physical shape.
Running was also a safe haven. When she got bad news or was having a rough day, Houlihan ran. But she couldn't anymore, at least not competitively.
When Houlihan learned her fate, she figured her career was over. Houlihan admits she didn't know how to handle her emotions.
She was angry for being punished for something she said she didn't do. She was depressed not being able to do what she loved. She was suicidal.
"I wanted to die," Houlihan said.
She did her best to get through it.
Right after the ban was announced, Riley Wattier, her eventual boyfriend, got on a flight and visited her. Wattier urged Houlihan not to look too far down the road.
He encouraged her to focus on getting through the hour. And then dinner. And finally the night. The perspective helped.
So did having the support of family and friends, who rallied around her after the news broke. A barrage of teammates and competitors backed her, including Dowling Catholic alum Karissa Schweizer.
But not everyone stood by Houlihan's side. Some called her a cheater. Social media remarks were cruel.
"I think everyone was just trying to shut her out or act like she didn't exist," Schweizer said.
The first year of Houlihan's ban may have been the most important. She spent those months trying to tackle one of the most important questions of her life: Who was she?
For as long as she had known, she was a competitive runner. It's what defined her. But now that Houlihan couldn't compete, she had to dig deep and learn more about herself.
"I was just like always Shelby the runner and that's where I felt like I had the most confidence in myself," Houlihan said. "So when that got taken away, it was just like, I don't know who I am without this, and I don't have any confidence in myself without this."
The more time passed, the more the confidence began to come back. Houlihan had toyed with the idea of stepping away from competitive running for good, but eventually decided to make a comeback. She was determined not to let the ban be the end of her story.
Houlihan believed she still had plenty left in the tank. Besides, she didn't want to have any regrets down the road.
So after taking about a month off to regroup, Houlihan got back on the track. Houlihan trained at about an 80% level during most of the ban.
Most of the time she was on her own, not even having someone there to hold a stopwatch for her. It was during those days of isolation that Houlihan learned how much she missed the community aspect of running and having teammates go through the ups and downs with her.
"It was not very fun at all," Houlihan said.
Houlihan was mocked for her burrito ban. She muted some track and field accounts on social media.
She didn't know if she could even attend a track meet to watch. Houlihan never tried to find out. Going would have been too hard.
Instead, Houlihan watched from afar as her friends and teammates competed, first in the Tokyo Olympics and then the Paris Games. Houlihan was hoping to be a part of both events.
Houlihan reached out to fellow competitors and wished them luck or congratulated them on successful runs. Not being there was difficult.
"Her outlet was just completely taken away from her," Schweizer said.
But some freedom was given back to her. Freedom to do what she wanted. Freedom to not have to train and compete all the time. Freedom to be whoever she wanted.
With the help of a sports psychologist, she started tracking that tough question of who she was. Together, they came up with a unique analogy of Houlihan's life.
Houlihan was living life like a garden. She had spent the majority of time watering one plant, the running part of her life. But with that now gone, she could get to the other plants.
Houlihan realized there were other plants and other parts of her life. She could be a student, an adventurous person and still be a runner.
So Houlihan went back to school and started her master's in sports psychology of all things. She did internship hours working with special education groups, hockey players and even actors.
Eventually she got paired up with track athletes. The work was rewarding for Houlihan and the athletes. It helped them grow and it helped Houlihan understand that she did, in fact, have a greater purpose beyond just running.
"I just feel like I'm a lot more than just a runner now," Houlihan said.
She tried to improve on her relationships as well, focusing on becoming a better daughter, a better sister and a better friend.
Houlihan also attacked her lengthy bucket list.
She golfed for the first time and went tubing down the Salt River in Phoenix, an activity she'd wanted to do for years but could never find the time for with her schedule.
One of of the biggest highlights came when Houlihan hopped in her 1971 Volkswagen Bus and went on a three-month trip around the country, checking out various parks including Mount Rushmore.
Houlihan had never milked a cow before, but she checked that off her list. She also went to Spain last October.
"I think she went to a lot of really dark places (mentally), as one would," Shayla Houlihan said. "But I think she came out even stronger."
Houlihan made her return to track in February at the Razorback Invitational in Arkansas. Getting back to competing was exciting and nerve-racking for Houlihan.
Would she be well-received by the fans and competitors? Would there be boos? Houlihan had a lot of anxiety and said she nearly got sick before she ran.
But Houlihan also was prepared for the moment. As she worked with her sports psychologist, the two talked about how she might handle any negative interactions.
They discussed how she would react if a fellow runner confronted her or if she wasn't welcomed by fans when she ran. When Houlihan showed up to the race, she kept her head down and tried to avoid being noticed.
"I was kind of scared," Houlihan said.
Everything went smoothly. Houlihan was welcomed back by fans and competitors with open arms. She said she didn't hear one boo. Fellow runners told her they were happy to see her back.
Running in front of some of her family, Houlihan once again dominated on the track, winning the indoor 3,000 with a time of 8:31.56. A month later, she won silver in the same event at the World Indoor Championships.
Even after all the time off with the ban and after all she had been through, Houlihan looked like the same strong runner she once was. It has been incredible for her friends and family to see.
"She hasn't really missed a beat," Schweizer said.
But Houlihan has changed, not as a runner but certainly as a person. For the better. Running is still important to Houlihan. But it's not the only thing. It doesn't define her like it once did.
Shayla Houlihan has seen her sister make monumental changes to her life. Running will always be a big priority to her. But now it sometimes takes a backseat to things like family.
She watched her sister decide to spend a few more days around family instead of leaving to get to a training site. Shayla Houlihan believes the ordeal has made her sister a more balanced person and runner.
Because of that, even more success could be on the horizon for her.
"I think this next chapter of her is an even better, more beautiful version of what we saw the four years prior to this," Shayla Houlihan said.
Houlihan said she still isn't sure how her positive test came to be. The best she could come up with was the burrito.
She said she doesn't eat from the truck anymore and that burritos have "lost its thing for me."
In many ways, though, Houlihan has moved on. She now has a better understanding of who she is and what she can do.
Houlihan said she shows up to races confident and with her head held high. She's still mentally preparing for anything negative that may come her way. But that isn't likely to happen this week when she returns to her home state to run on the famed Blue Oval that helped make her a star in high school.
"I have always felt really supported by people from Iowa, even through everything that I've been through the last four years," she said. "I've gotten a lot of support from Iowa."
Meanwhile, Houlihan finds time to pursue things on that bucket list. The list is constantly growing, but so is the list of things she checks off.
Houlihan hopes the many different things on that list are what will ultimately define her, rather than a single focus on her running career.
"It'd be a pretty cool life by the end," Houlihan said with a smile.
Tommy Birch, the Register's sports enterprise and features reporter, has been working at the newspaper since 2008. He's the 2018, 2020 and 2023 Iowa Sportswriter of the Year. Reach him at [email protected] or 515-284-8468
This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: Shelby Houlihan back at Drake Relays and thriving after doping ban
Continue reading...
“I started it, gosh, maybe in 2015 or 2016,” Houlihan says.
The Sioux City native has been checking off things ever since. Houlihan was able to accomplish some of the items while she served a four-year ban from competitive running after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs.
“I’ve done 12,” Houlihan said with a smile. “So that’s pretty good.”
That list has been put on pause lately, though. Houlihan, once one of the top runners in the world, is back on the track competing. She’ll open the outdoor part of her season this week at the Drake Relays.
"Every year, whether I was in college or even pro, I'd just ask, 'Can I do Drake this year?'" Houlihan said.
Houlihan can finally return. Houlihan said she battled depression and suicidal thoughts during her ban from track and field, even contemplating walking away from the sport. But she's now back on the track and possibly better than ever despite all she's experienced.
"I'm just so incredibly proud of her," said her sister, Shayla Houlihan. "Her resilience is just incredible."
Houlihan will run in the USATF 1 Mile Road Championship on Tuesday for a chance to set the course and national record. She'll also try to qualify for Team USA ahead of the World Championships in September.
Houlihan also will compete in the women’s mile inside Drake Stadium on Saturday.
You must be registered for see images
"I wanted to die"
Running has always been who Houlihan is. The 32-year-old has been one of the sport's biggest names for a long time.
During her senior year at Sioux City East High School, Houlihan captured four state titles, beginning with a 2010 cross country win. She added state track championships in the 400, 800 and 1,500.
Houlihan was the star of the show at the Drake Relays, earning outstanding female high school performer in 2011 after becoming the first female athlete to win three individual events in a year.
You must be registered for see images attach
That was just the start of things for Houlihan, who went on to become a 12-time NCAA Division I All-American at Arizona State. After college, Houlihan embarked on a successful professional career.
She ran in the 2016 Olympics in Rio Janeiro, Brazil. Then, in October 2019, she set the American record in the 1,500 with a time of 3 minutes, 54.99 seconds at the World Championships in Doha, Qatar.
A year later, Houlihan was back on top of the running world when she broke the U.S. 5,000 record with a time of 14:23.92 in Portland, Ore.
“She was at the pinnacle of her career,” sister Shayla said.
But Houlihan’s career took an unexpected turn after a 2020 test came back positive for nandrolone, an anabolic steroid. The positive test came out of nowhere, as far as Houlihan was concerned.
Houlihan insisted she wasn't cheating and tried to find out what triggered the positive test. The best she could come up with was a tainted pork burrito she'd bought from a food truck.
The reasoning seemed implausible to many, including a Court of Arbitration for Sport tribunal, which rejected her explanation. Houlihan was given a four-year ban.
"I just wanted to disappear," Houlihan said.
The ban hit her hard. Running was her life and much of her identity. Her schedule, for most of her life, was ruled by training and competing.
Houlihan missed out on many things her friends were doing so she could train, compete and stay in top physical shape.
Running was also a safe haven. When she got bad news or was having a rough day, Houlihan ran. But she couldn't anymore, at least not competitively.
When Houlihan learned her fate, she figured her career was over. Houlihan admits she didn't know how to handle her emotions.
She was angry for being punished for something she said she didn't do. She was depressed not being able to do what she loved. She was suicidal.
"I wanted to die," Houlihan said.
She did her best to get through it.
Right after the ban was announced, Riley Wattier, her eventual boyfriend, got on a flight and visited her. Wattier urged Houlihan not to look too far down the road.
He encouraged her to focus on getting through the hour. And then dinner. And finally the night. The perspective helped.
So did having the support of family and friends, who rallied around her after the news broke. A barrage of teammates and competitors backed her, including Dowling Catholic alum Karissa Schweizer.
But not everyone stood by Houlihan's side. Some called her a cheater. Social media remarks were cruel.
"I think everyone was just trying to shut her out or act like she didn't exist," Schweizer said.
You must be registered for see images attach
Houlihan makes the most of her time off during the ban
The first year of Houlihan's ban may have been the most important. She spent those months trying to tackle one of the most important questions of her life: Who was she?
For as long as she had known, she was a competitive runner. It's what defined her. But now that Houlihan couldn't compete, she had to dig deep and learn more about herself.
"I was just like always Shelby the runner and that's where I felt like I had the most confidence in myself," Houlihan said. "So when that got taken away, it was just like, I don't know who I am without this, and I don't have any confidence in myself without this."
The more time passed, the more the confidence began to come back. Houlihan had toyed with the idea of stepping away from competitive running for good, but eventually decided to make a comeback. She was determined not to let the ban be the end of her story.
Houlihan believed she still had plenty left in the tank. Besides, she didn't want to have any regrets down the road.
So after taking about a month off to regroup, Houlihan got back on the track. Houlihan trained at about an 80% level during most of the ban.
Most of the time she was on her own, not even having someone there to hold a stopwatch for her. It was during those days of isolation that Houlihan learned how much she missed the community aspect of running and having teammates go through the ups and downs with her.
"It was not very fun at all," Houlihan said.
Houlihan was mocked for her burrito ban. She muted some track and field accounts on social media.
She didn't know if she could even attend a track meet to watch. Houlihan never tried to find out. Going would have been too hard.
Instead, Houlihan watched from afar as her friends and teammates competed, first in the Tokyo Olympics and then the Paris Games. Houlihan was hoping to be a part of both events.
Houlihan reached out to fellow competitors and wished them luck or congratulated them on successful runs. Not being there was difficult.
"Her outlet was just completely taken away from her," Schweizer said.
But some freedom was given back to her. Freedom to do what she wanted. Freedom to not have to train and compete all the time. Freedom to be whoever she wanted.
With the help of a sports psychologist, she started tracking that tough question of who she was. Together, they came up with a unique analogy of Houlihan's life.
Houlihan was living life like a garden. She had spent the majority of time watering one plant, the running part of her life. But with that now gone, she could get to the other plants.
Houlihan realized there were other plants and other parts of her life. She could be a student, an adventurous person and still be a runner.
So Houlihan went back to school and started her master's in sports psychology of all things. She did internship hours working with special education groups, hockey players and even actors.
Eventually she got paired up with track athletes. The work was rewarding for Houlihan and the athletes. It helped them grow and it helped Houlihan understand that she did, in fact, have a greater purpose beyond just running.
"I just feel like I'm a lot more than just a runner now," Houlihan said.
She tried to improve on her relationships as well, focusing on becoming a better daughter, a better sister and a better friend.
Houlihan also attacked her lengthy bucket list.
She golfed for the first time and went tubing down the Salt River in Phoenix, an activity she'd wanted to do for years but could never find the time for with her schedule.
One of of the biggest highlights came when Houlihan hopped in her 1971 Volkswagen Bus and went on a three-month trip around the country, checking out various parks including Mount Rushmore.
Houlihan had never milked a cow before, but she checked that off her list. She also went to Spain last October.
"I think she went to a lot of really dark places (mentally), as one would," Shayla Houlihan said. "But I think she came out even stronger."
You must be registered for see images
Houlihan makes her return and returns to her dominant self
Houlihan made her return to track in February at the Razorback Invitational in Arkansas. Getting back to competing was exciting and nerve-racking for Houlihan.
Would she be well-received by the fans and competitors? Would there be boos? Houlihan had a lot of anxiety and said she nearly got sick before she ran.
But Houlihan also was prepared for the moment. As she worked with her sports psychologist, the two talked about how she might handle any negative interactions.
They discussed how she would react if a fellow runner confronted her or if she wasn't welcomed by fans when she ran. When Houlihan showed up to the race, she kept her head down and tried to avoid being noticed.
"I was kind of scared," Houlihan said.
Everything went smoothly. Houlihan was welcomed back by fans and competitors with open arms. She said she didn't hear one boo. Fellow runners told her they were happy to see her back.
Running in front of some of her family, Houlihan once again dominated on the track, winning the indoor 3,000 with a time of 8:31.56. A month later, she won silver in the same event at the World Indoor Championships.
Even after all the time off with the ban and after all she had been through, Houlihan looked like the same strong runner she once was. It has been incredible for her friends and family to see.
"She hasn't really missed a beat," Schweizer said.
But Houlihan has changed, not as a runner but certainly as a person. For the better. Running is still important to Houlihan. But it's not the only thing. It doesn't define her like it once did.
Shayla Houlihan has seen her sister make monumental changes to her life. Running will always be a big priority to her. But now it sometimes takes a backseat to things like family.
She watched her sister decide to spend a few more days around family instead of leaving to get to a training site. Shayla Houlihan believes the ordeal has made her sister a more balanced person and runner.
Because of that, even more success could be on the horizon for her.
"I think this next chapter of her is an even better, more beautiful version of what we saw the four years prior to this," Shayla Houlihan said.
Houlihan said she still isn't sure how her positive test came to be. The best she could come up with was the burrito.
She said she doesn't eat from the truck anymore and that burritos have "lost its thing for me."
In many ways, though, Houlihan has moved on. She now has a better understanding of who she is and what she can do.
Houlihan said she shows up to races confident and with her head held high. She's still mentally preparing for anything negative that may come her way. But that isn't likely to happen this week when she returns to her home state to run on the famed Blue Oval that helped make her a star in high school.
"I have always felt really supported by people from Iowa, even through everything that I've been through the last four years," she said. "I've gotten a lot of support from Iowa."
Meanwhile, Houlihan finds time to pursue things on that bucket list. The list is constantly growing, but so is the list of things she checks off.
Houlihan hopes the many different things on that list are what will ultimately define her, rather than a single focus on her running career.
"It'd be a pretty cool life by the end," Houlihan said with a smile.
Tommy Birch, the Register's sports enterprise and features reporter, has been working at the newspaper since 2008. He's the 2018, 2020 and 2023 Iowa Sportswriter of the Year. Reach him at [email protected] or 515-284-8468
This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: Shelby Houlihan back at Drake Relays and thriving after doping ban
Continue reading...
