Darnell Dockett

[Mr.Dibbs]

Rumor has it that Darnell Dockett...

Rumor has it that Darnell Dockett sleeps while standing up and keeps both eyes open.

Rumor also has it that he's related to John Shaft.

 

[earthsci]

I heard that Darnell Dockett eats nails with gasoline for breakfast.

 

[abomb]

I heard he killed him a bear, when he was only three.

A-Bomb

 

[Mr.Dibbs]

Rumor also has it that he's genetically engineered by the military for battle, but the military could control him so they let him go.

 

[Mr.Dibbs]

I heard that Darnell Dockett eats nails with gasoline for breakfast.

I kinda stole this thread from you, EarthSci, sorry.

Speaking of thread, I heard that Dockett invented thread. And the cross-stitch.

 

[MadCardDisease]

Rumor has it that he is related to Anquan Boldin. They were seperated at birth due to a hospital error.

 

[Gnomad]

i heard that instead of gargling w/Listerine, he uses Hydrochloric Acid

 

[SECTION 11]

Darnell came over to my cubicle, merged these two threads together, then fired me for screwing around! Best thing that ever happened to me I tell ya.

 

[maddogkf]

rumor has it that he brushes his teeth with a cornered, rabid badger

 

[abomb]

So anyways, Dockett would put on a white tie and tails and walk his pet cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra "Beverly". And he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day, it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes, Dockett had to shoot the maid.

/old SNL sketch

A-Bomb

 

[maddogkf]

the movie the Chronicles of Riddick was originally the Chronicles of Dockett...but Darnell did not want the lime light

 

[Mr.Dibbs]

Rumor has it that the Ronco Food Dehydrator was really invented by Dockett. He saw some old, poor white guy in an alley a few years ago and decided to give him full credit for the info-commercial products.

 

[maddogkf]

he taught Spock the Vulcan neck pinch

 

[Gnomad]

he invented cold fusion

 

[maddogkf]

Darnell goes all-in before the river, before the flop, before the deal on everyhand.

and he has never lost

 

[maddogkf]

he's the one who convinced Shana Hiatt to pose for Playboy.

bravo. bravo.

 

[SECTION 11]

I forgot about Spock. Man, took that Nemoy guy forever to get his technique down.

Well, anyway... Dockett shows up at church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Dockett pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

I've never been so proud.

 

[abomb]

Dockett appended the binary language. Before DD, there were only zeros.

A-Bomb

 

[abomb]

I forgot about Spock. Man, took that Nemoy guy forever to get his technique down.

Well, anyway... Dockett shows up at church in his golf pants, caked in mud. Well, ol' Dockett pushes the priest aside and says, "I'll baptize that piece of calamari!" Then he pours Scotch all over my baby son and says, "There! You're baptized!"

I've never been so proud.

I am so glad someone else has seen those sketches.

A-Bomb

 

[abomb]

DD has skillfully crafted a new measurment system to replace the metric system, but he says "we are not ready for it...yet."

A-Bomb

 

[SECTION 11]

Dockett, back in '82, was ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll.

 

[maddogkf]

Dockett, back in '82, was ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll.

and placed (runner up) in the Kentucky Derby

 

[abomb]

and placed (runner up) in the Kentucky Derby

The reason he didn't win was because he felt sorry for the other horse.

A-Bomb

 

[SECTION 11]

and placed (runner up) in the Kentucky Derby

Hey, remember when he put a saddle on you and rode you around Wyoming for three weeks? That must've been cool.

 

[Gnomad]

and placed (runner up) in the Kentucky Derby

and the Indy 500... on foot!