Cardinal Fans Injury Report:

[Redheart]

Fan: Redheart.
Injury: Shattered Illusions with BIG RED welts. Severely sprained wallet.
Prognosis: Questionable and questioning.

 

[Ryanwb]

Heat Exhausted (and upset) wife.

Status for next weeks game: doubtful

I cannot remember a hotter game at SDS

 

[AndyO]

Fan: Andy O

Battered but unbowed

Prognosis: Against all logic, still a believer

 

[SECTION 11]

Section 11: Probable with a bit of a hangover.

 

[maddogkf]

Fan: maddogkf
Injury: 1. Foggy brain - could be concussion or hangover 2. Pissed off wife - came home way too late
Prognosis: Could use 13 hrs more sleep but not gonna happen. Wife will get over it - she always does. What a trooper!

 

[Mr.Dibbs]

Fan: Oran

Injury: Critical case of spreading indifference.

Prognosis: week to week, but X-rays will be taken after swelling decreases to check for more damage.

 

[Krangodnzr]

Fan: KTB

Injury: Extreme case of psychopathic dilusions, and paranoid rantings against Rod Graves.

Prognosis: A 3-13 season.

 

[BigRed]

Broken heart..will play next week with pain.

 

[RedStorm]

Fan: RedStorm
Injury: None - Because he has not bought into the Master Plan. Just expects wins
Prognosis: Will still wait for wins and will call it like he sees it.

 

[Jttsaz]

I have a theory..Us diehard Cards fans have been hypnotized! It has to be some sort of mass hypnosis to go through this crap year after year after year..and yet we still go to the games, buy the gear, and post on message boards all day long...how is this possible? Are we crazy! People ask me all day long why I am such a Cardinals fan? I really have no answer for them...I really don't...I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent..I step out of the bubble and try to get some perspective on this whole situation...This team has been dreadful for as long as I can remember..the best Cards team we've had in AZ. was the first one in "88" until Lomax went down. The 98 team was average and got into the playoffs due to a weak schedule and a down year in the NFC..let's face it 9-7 doesn't usually get you into the playoffs...We have had turnstile of different coaches all of which have had little if not any success. We have seen players leave here only to thrive with other teams. We have an owner which shows no love to us poor pathetic fans..and have made every inconcievable bad PR move in the books..we are the laughing stock of the NFL..we are decimated by injuries and do not sign anyone to replace them...we have 14 million $$ under the cap and refuse to do anything with that $$ to upgrade this team...and we get zero effort by the team itself at it's home opener...How can we support this team the way we do? After all that? It must be in the water or something...this team has given me very little joy and a boatload of grief...but yet I still love'em..yep I'm hypnotized...

 

[Redheart]

Originally posted by Jttsaz
I have a theory..Us diehard Cards fans have been hypnotized! It has to be some sort of mass hypnosis to go through this crap year after year after year..and yet we still go to the games, buy the gear, and post on message boards all day long...how is this possible? Are we crazy! People ask me all day long why I am such a Cardinals fan? I really have no answer for them...I really don't...I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent..I step out of the bubble and try to get some perspective on this whole situation...This team has been dreadful for as long as I can remember..the best Cards team we've had in AZ. was the first one in "88" until Lomax went down. The 98 team was average and got into the playoffs due to a weak schedule and a down year in the NFC..let's face it 9-7 doesn't usually get you into the playoffs...We have had turnstile of different coaches all of which have had little if not any success. We have seen players leave here only to thrive with other teams. We have an owner which shows no love to us poor pathetic fans..and have made every inconcievable bad PR move in the books..we are the laughing stock of the NFL..we are decimated by injuries and do not sign anyone to replace them...we have 14 million $$ under the cap and refuse to do anything with that $$ to upgrade this team...and we get zero effort by the team itself at it's home opener...How can we support this team the way we do? After all that? It must be in the water or something...this team has given me very little joy and a boatload of grief...but yet I still love'em..yep I'm hypnotized...

Fan: Jttaz
Injury: Concussion (classic symptoms).
Prognosis: He'll be back.

 

[RugbyMuffin]

Fan:RugbyMuffin
Injury: Temporary blindness, dillilusional psychotic thoughts, upset stomach,extreme paranioa, terrets syndrome.
Prognosis: May be back before the end of the season, listed as day to day.
Treatment: Herbal supplement, Bidwuss's head on a post at the 50 yard line.

 

[jf-08]

Fan: jkf296 (Joel F.)

Injury: wife had heat exhaustion - very scary. Joel had no injuries, other than a freaking Misty Mate that continually leaked.

Prognosis: Bring waterwings next week to float in all of the melted cheese. And nose plugs - sweaty meaty fans will be abundant.

 

[Lex]

Fan: Lex

Injury: Beaten up in pick em, and fantasy leagues.

Prognosis: Dump Cards from fantasy team, stop picking Cards to cover.

Course of action: stay positive and count the losses...until we hit 8, you never know what could happen.

 

[40yearfan]

FAN : 40yearfan
INJURY : Coma
Prognosis : Will remain in coma until Cards win game. Flowers and sympathy encouraged.

 

[RugbyMuffin]

Originally posted by 40yearfan
FAN : 40yearfan
INJURY : Coma
Prognosis : Will remain in coma until Cards win game. Flowers and sympathy encouraged.

 

[arthurracoon]

Fan: arthurracoon

Injury:
Location - Princeton Review at SAT class
Time - 1:00 - 4:30
As Soon As Class Was Let Out - I ran out to ask the fans if we won.
What I Saw - Sad Cardinal Fans who had left during the 4th quarter - They said 31-0.
How I felt: Heatbroken

Prognosis: Same thing next week, but I still belive that insted of seeing sad Card's Fans, I'll see happy Card's fans.

 

[CardAvenger]

Fan: CardAvenger
Injury: Torn IFPO (I'm F***ing Pissed Off)
Prognosis: Questionable
Course of Action: Say goodbye to the Avengers (until I see some effort out of these guys)

 

[justAndy]

...

brusied hip and scraped knee from taking drunken spill down concrete embankment that runs along the north endzone entry ramps, hangover 'til last night from same.
Slight sunburn.
gut cramps from twisting insides watching that HORRIBLE display...
Avenger - hope to see you at the game, even with no mask and costume.

 

[CardAvenger]

Re: ...

Originally posted by andikrist
Avenger - hope to see you at the game, even with no mask and costume.

Oh, I'll be there, cheering for Scott Player. I might have a new banner made for him by then, but we'll see. No promises.

Really, I am looking forward to watching the game without the gear on. It's been a while. Hopefully I won't have the Driver title, so I can tie one on. I had to drive last Sunday, as well as in the preseason. It's much easier to take when you're drunk, so I'm looking forward to that.

 

[SunCityCarl]

<B>Fan:</B> SunCityCarl (Soon To Be JustPlainCarl)
<B>Injury:</B> Severely Torn wallet. Brain Contusion (Self Inflicted w/Ball Peen Hammer!)
<B>Prognosis:</B> Day To Day, Daily Jack Daniels Treatments, Double Dose on Sunday! Talking To David Boston's guru for other "treatments"!