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gmabel830

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I try really hard to not get on the refs at my kids' youth soccer games.. even am part of a FB group/watch Youtube videos that show how ridiculous it looks, but unfortunately I at times have my moments when the officiating is really bad. At our tournament in Cali two weekends ago, the ref was letting things be very aggressive, their was a clear knee-to-knee foul on our player that the AR (who was right there) came out and told him deserved a yellow and the ref waved him off -- then my son was in goal and got to a ball in the box first with a slide tackle that the ref called a PK for, and BOTH ARs came on to tell them they disagreed and he ignored them both, and that's when I started yelling loudly. He did little to keep the game under control, and one of our boys who is a football player started getting very aggressive late and had a bad and reckless foul that he didn't give a card on... the other kids dad confronted the AR aggressively about their not being a card (the AR just pointed to the ref and said "he controls the cards") and was tossed. Yeahhh... competitive youth sports doesn't bring out the best in you!
 

Yuma

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There was a game my son's team was playing in a tournament. Our goalie was making a normal routine pick up of a slow moving ball. He went down to one knee, and this one kid ran in full blast and jumped like a middle line backer and just wiped out the goalie. At no point did he even attempt to go for the ball. Just head first flying take out of the goalie. I watched the head ref, who was a father of one of the kids on the other team, ignore if our kid was hurt at all, then had a "heart to heart" talk with the tackler, and blew the whistle to resume play. No yellow card, nothing. I was irate! I was so mad I didn't yell or threaten to kick his a$$ like I normally would have done. I marched down to the organizers of the tournament, made them drop what they were doing and come down and have a talk with the referee. at which point, they removed him from the match. The linesmen actually told them it was the most brutal hit they ever saw in soccer. My wife though t I handled like an adult. Truth be told, I was so mad could have ripped that guy apart. Referees absolutely let stuff get out of hand.
 

Yuma

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I try really hard to not get on the refs at my kids' youth soccer games.. even am part of a FB group/watch Youtube videos that show how ridiculous it looks, but unfortunately I at times have my moments when the officiating is really bad. At our tournament in Cali two weekends ago, the ref was letting things be very aggressive, their was a clear knee-to-knee foul on our player that the AR (who was right there) came out and told him deserved a yellow and the ref waved him off -- then my son was in goal and got to a ball in the box first with a slide tackle that the ref called a PK for, and BOTH ARs came on to tell them they disagreed and he ignored them both, and that's when I started yelling loudly. He did little to keep the game under control, and one of our boys who is a football player started getting very aggressive late and had a bad and reckless foul that he didn't give a card on... the other kids dad confronted the AR aggressively about their not being a card (the AR just pointed to the ref and said "he controls the cards") and was tossed. Yeahhh... competitive youth sports doesn't bring out the best in you!
I had a bad day one time, and had to referee a game that day. To be fair, I called out both coaches to mid fields and told them I had a zero tolerance policy that day. I went to both benches and told all the players hard tackles, etc would be yellow carded immediately. I guess the way I spoke got through to them. It was the best played game I ever refereed. Thank god. All the kids and the coaches I heard them mumbling after the game what a dick I was! LOL! :)
 

cardpa

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At the start of every game that I did center, during the coin toss I would tell the captains of both teams that I am giving you your warning about dissent here and any dissent later would result in a card. I would tell them to go back and tell your coaches and the rest of the team what I just told you.

I once had a game of U-15 girls in a tournament which it became quite apparent that there was bad blood between these two teams and they had a history. Ten minutes in I had to stop the match and warn both parent sides to settle down or I was going to toss all of them. A minute or two later I carded a girl for persistence as she had made several rough tackles. She immediately decided it would be a good idea to bow to the opposing parents with a smile on her face. Boom second yellow/red gone! Her coach started to approach me to protest. I told him one word and your gone too. A couple more yellows and the game settled down as they knew I wasn't going to put up with anymore ********.

I have tossed parents, coaches, and a few players in my time as a ref.

On the opposite side of it, I was given compliments while doing an U-9 game as I would take the time to tell the player why I blew the whistle on them and basically help them understand the game. The compliments came from the parents of both teams.
 

MigratingOsprey

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As a parent I try to just breathe through it, it's not that serious

I think part of the challenge is that there are so many games and things do kind of compound and accumulate. It's also all very expensive.

This past league season my son's team was away for every game. Home team provides refs and there was often familiarity. What was a foul or even a card on our side was a conversation on theirs.

Was frustrating and did help cost a couple of games, but you frame it with the kids. Yes that penalty awarded when up 1 nothing in the final minutes and the goalie goes to ground to win a ball and after it's gathered and pulled into his body a desperate attacking playing kicks at him and runs through him and falls isn't great - but it wasn't great not finishing chances and allowing a single mistake to shift a game you controlled

Also to all parents, fouls are part of the game. Settle down. Your kid is going to both foul and get fouled. It's OK.

My biggest ask of refs is to just control the game. Especially in the 12-14 yr old boy games.

We had some not great moments and some physical play and it was pretty much always frustration boiling over and kids policing themselves.

There is also an insane amount of talking on the field and a fair amount of race adjacent commentary. That can help turn up the heat quickly.

No fun for anyone when it boils out of control.

We did have some great games though

Even times when there is a bad official you can sometimes laugh through it. Game at the end of the season this lady on the lines was wild with offsides calls. Poor positioning and i'm still not convinced she knew the call is.

Same game the guy in the other side was pretty solid, except for a break against our team - he had his head down and was messing with his watch. Both attacking players were way off - not remotely close. He never even saw the goal go into the net. Was just caught out and didn't call anything because he quite literally didn't see the play.

The on-field official conferenced with him and took the goal off. The other side coaches got irate and so it goes in youth sports.
 

gmabel830

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I should clarify that I go out of my way to thank referees after games/as I pass them at the parks and have even apologized to some for yelling after the game, but the few times I let my emotions get the better of me are still a few times too many.
 

cardpa

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Games where I had center and I had no assistants, Yes up to a certain age in Pa. at least you get games alone, I would tell the players and coaches before the game I will call offsides to the best of my ability and I my get a couple wrong so and we will have to just live with that.
 

MigratingOsprey

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Games where I had center and I had no assistants, Yes up to a certain age in Pa. at least you get games alone, I would tell the players and coaches before the game I will call offsides to the best of my ability and I my get a couple wrong so and we will have to just live with that.
That absolutely makes sense

For middle school softball we typically had one ump and that is tough on them.

Frequently we'd have none at their actual school because traffic is really tough and the games start at like 4:45.

Then a parent would step in and call behind the pitcher - people would still suck though
 

Stout

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Man, hats off to all you refs and former refs. I'd never have wanted to do that. It's a no-win job where 1,000 atta boys are wiped out by one oh crap--one really bad call can ruin a well-called game. It's not like yinz have VAR--actually, that might hinder the games :D
 

Yuma

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At the start of every game that I did center, during the coin toss I would tell the captains of both teams that I am giving you your warning about dissent here and any dissent later would result in a card. I would tell them to go back and tell your coaches and the rest of the team what I just told you.

I once had a game of U-15 girls in a tournament which it became quite apparent that there was bad blood between these two teams and they had a history. Ten minutes in I had to stop the match and warn both parent sides to settle down or I was going to toss all of them. A minute or two later I carded a girl for persistence as she had made several rough tackles. She immediately decided it would be a good idea to bow to the opposing parents with a smile on her face. Boom second yellow/red gone! Her coach started to approach me to protest. I told him one word and your gone too. A couple more yellows and the game settled down as they knew I wasn't going to put up with anymore ********.

I have tossed parents, coaches, and a few players in my time as a ref.

On the opposite side of it, I was given compliments while doing an U-9 game as I would take the time to tell the player why I blew the whistle on them and basically help them understand the game. The compliments came from the parents of both teams.
I never did this, but I joked many a time I wanted to start a game giving both coaches and all players a yellow card each, and then we could start the game! LOL!
 

gmabel830

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Man, hats off to all you refs and former refs. I'd never have wanted to do that. It's a no-win job where 1,000 atta boys are wiped out by one oh crap--one really bad call can ruin a well-called game. It's not like yinz have VAR--actually, that might hinder the games :D
100% this!
 

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Games where I had center and I had no assistants, Yes up to a certain age in Pa. at least you get games alone, I would tell the players and coaches before the game I will call offsides to the best of my ability and I my get a couple wrong so and we will have to just live with that.

In Illinois I got High School games with no assistants, pretty much all JV & Freshman games, they were that short handed. I always said the same thing you said and most of the HS coaches sympathized believe it or not.
 

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One memorable referee story for me, in 2019 I was doing a U14 or U15 club game. With under 15 minutes to go in the second half I felt some pain in my knee, figured I was old and pulled something. Limped my way through the rest of the match (not gonna lie I was in some pain), hid it as best as I could.

Turns out I had a fracture of the tibial plateau--straight across the bone where the femur and tibia meet at the knee. So I reffed a game for between 10-15 minutes with a broken leg!

The orthopedic Dr I saw was previously the team doctor for the USMNT--he said I was one of 2 or 3 freaks a year he saw that had that injury without an impact or a fall, just as a result from running. First time in my life I ever broke a bone (I was 46 at the time).
 

cardpa

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One memorable referee story for me, in 2019 I was doing a U14 or U15 club game. With under 15 minutes to go in the second half I felt some pain in my knee, figured I was old and pulled something. Limped my way through the rest of the match (not gonna lie I was in some pain), hid it as best as I could.

Turns out I had a fracture of the tibial plateau--straight across the bone where the femur and tibia meet at the knee. So I reffed a game for between 10-15 minutes with a broken leg!

The orthopedic Dr I saw was previously the team doctor for the USMNT--he said I was one of 2 or 3 freaks a year he saw that had that injury without an impact or a fall, just as a result from running. First time in my life I ever broke a bone (I was 46 at the time).
Worse I ever had, I tore a meniscus during a game. I just turned to change directions on the field and I felt something. My knee swelled up and I was done for that day. Operation was a success and never had any problems with it afterward. In my early 40s when it happened. Now 68 and its holding up fine. Your injury certainly was freaky.
 

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Big tuneup today vs. Colombia. I think today its important to get a result. Not sure what to expect in the friendly vs. Brazil.

and I am impressed with the hire for the Women's side. I think it is great that she has experience coaching in America and lived here for many years. But she is also very up to date with the game and how it has evolved globally. and she's north londoner from Camdentown which is one of my favorite places in all of London due to the Camden Market. She was brought up very close in proximity to Arsenal, yet I read that she is a spurs fan LOL!
 

Lorenzo

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it would be nice if they can salvage a draw in this one. any result against a side like Colombia is a good one for this USA squad.
 

Lorenzo

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wow diaz missed what should have been a third goal. unlucky. terrible turnover by the US there to lead to that chance.
 

Lorenzo

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ugh cameron carter vickers is still in the squad. not a good sign for their depth in the back. definitely worried about the USA back line.
 

Lorenzo

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USA are struggling to play out of the back. musah got fouled and ref didn't call it. probably should have been a goal for Colombia on that sequence. and now here they are again, cardosa with a terrible turnover and no help from his back line to bail him out. 1-3

edit: now 1-4 thanks to another failed play out of the back, this time by weah. not good.

South American teams are going to destroy USA if they can't hold the ball and play out of the back. colombia are blitzing them and getting premium goal scoring chances.
 
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Lorenzo

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1-5

this time it is carter vickers with a poor turnover playing out of the back. the USA may be parking the bus vs. brazil after this result. their depth looks terrible.

maybe a couple of more of these score lines and it will get berhalter fired. the USA look complete disjointed and lazy everywhere. no one is playing together. even when they get possession moving forward into their final third there is no continuity, they are just kicking the ball away.
 
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