old card fan

Guys, I like to write, so I thought maybe I would get some opinions on one of the stories that i am into right now. I thought I might put some excerpts in a little at a time and maybe you could give me your thoughts. The book I am writting or talking about is Tittled the "blue hue". Basically its about a young man & his dog. What do you think? If I get some interest I will start putting them in here. I sure need to see what the public thinks. Thanks OCF

jf-08

would love to see some writings!

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Mike Olbinski

You should put them in the Books forum though

Looking forward to reading your stuff.

Mike

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old card fan

Hopefully, I'll get more hits in here,

old card fan

Remember guys, I know its rough, and punctuation will come later.



Jeff walked down the path through the woods where he had lived all his life. Around the next curve would be his home. His thoughts were of the hunting trip he had been on the last few days. He had been gone for almost three weeks and although Jeff was happy to be coming home, he loved being out in the wilderness by himself. It gave him time to put life in its place.
Jeff wanted to make enough money from the pelts to purchase the new bluetick pup from Mr. Bleven’s. Mr. Bleven lived just over the next ridge from Jeff not quite a mile away.
Something made Jeff stop in his tracks. He listened intently. He wasn’t sure what made him stop, but something was amiss.
Then a slight, almost familiar sound came from somewhere in the woods, and made the hair on Jeff’s neck stick straight out, and the chills seem to have started from his feet and worked there way up.
It couldn’t be he thought to himself, no way. It had been killed years ago.

Jeff rounded the bend & smiled widely at the sight of his Mother hanging clothes on the line to dry. His mother smiled back and said, “Welcome home “
Jeff stopped at the well for a drink of water. He raised the bucket from the depths of the well, and began pouring the cool water in his mouth, with the excess water running down his throat and chest. When he stopped drinking, the bucket was still half full and the rest of the contents went where it would do the most good, on top of Jeff’s head.
He leaned back against the wooden rail fence by the well, & surveyed his surroundings. It wasn’t a mansion or anything close, but he loved it and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else and being this happy.
His great grandfather had owned this land and of course it had been handed down through time to his father. Jeff knew someday it would be his. The 35-acre farm consisted of a small two-story house, with his bedroom upstairs. There was a medium barn east of the house that at times held a few livestock. The place also held the usual other necessities such as the smokehouse, chicken coop, etc.
Jeff grew up in this rugged mountainous, wooded terrain. He was well known for his knowledge of how to survive this harsh environment; after all, he was his dad’s son.
Jeff was nowhere near the size of his father, but at the age of 19 was not a small man by any means. And the build he had was emphasized by a strong muscular frame that came from hard work and roaming through these hills.
He took his pelts out back behind the barn and hung them in the sun to dry. Later before darkness came, he would move them inside the barn for the night, for protection. There were too many predators around that would love to chew on the hides.

Jeff had one thing in mind at this time. He had been away from home for almost a week. As he traveled down the old beaten path he came upon what he was after, Jenny’s spring. Named after his grandmother, it was an oasis. The water coming out stayed at a constant temperature no matter the time of year and on a hot summer evening you could ask for nothing better than a cool dip.
He was out of his clothes and treading water in less than 30 seconds. Jeff stood in water along the shore about shoulder deep just relaxing. After being out in the woods so long, he was well aware that a bath was necessary and would be appreciated by his family.
Something off to the side and up the hill a small ways had caught Jeff’s attention. He did not look over immediately. That was something Jeff had been taught by his dad. If you don’t want it to know you have seen it, don’t jerk your head in its direction. He could sense that it was not an animal, but of human form.
Jeff knew what to do. He got out of the water, put his clothes back on, and walked out of sight.
Jeff had a huge smile on his face as he circled back around the spring through the woods. This would not be the first time he had crept up on one of the local woodsmen and tapped them on the shoulder without them knowing he was there. It was a challenge for them to try to surprise Jeff, but no one had accomplished it since he was almost 11.
Jeff knew he was close to the area he saw the movement, and thought by now he should be able to see whoever it was. But there was no one in sight. There were no signs of footprints and nothing under the tree had been disturbed, not even a leave. Jeff even looked up into the tree but nothing.
Jeff walked away trying to figure out what had gone wrong. This had him very upset. The fact that someone had been there and not only left no sign of his presence, but had eluded him completely. Maybe if his dad was up to it tonight, he could discuss it with him.
What Jeff didn’t know or realize was that there was a pair of eyes not 20 feet from the tree he had been under, watching his departure.

Jeff arrived back home with about 30 minutes left of the day. He moved his pelts inside the barn, and ran through a couple of chores.
As Jeff walked toward the house he could smell supper. The sun had just disappeared behind the hillside, and darkness would soon engulf the valley. It was his favorite time. Everything was settling down for the night and all would be at peace.
A whippoorwill started chanting its song, and a large owl flew out of the barn to begin his nightly hunt. Well Jeff smiled to himself, almost everything was settled.
His mother was busy setting the table and Jeff’s dad was still nowhere in sight, but Jeff knew he would be along shortly. After the family was settled at the table, Jeff tried to engage in a conversation with his dad, but it was not to be. So, as usual, he made small talk with his Mother.
After supper, the family settled down to a typical evening on the farm. His Dad wandered out to the porch and settled down in his favorite rocker. His mother joined him as soon as the dishes were washed and put away. She also had a rocking chair that was close by his side. Mother would always reach over and place her hand upon his and they would rock for the next hour or so in harmony.
Jeff would sometimes join them by sitting on the top stair of the porch. He would not stay too long though before he would excuse himself to retire for the night. He would rise and go behind them and kiss his mother on the cheek and place a hand on his father’s shoulders, then say goodnight. He knew it was their time.

old card fan

Next morning, Jeff was up early and out at the barn tending to his pelts. Although the newest ones wouldn’t be ready for a while, the ones he had gotten on previous trips would bring a nice price in town this morning. After downing breakfast, apologizing to his mother for being in a rush, he was on his way toward town.
Jeff was walking along pondering on how he would train the new pup, when a voice interrupted his thoughts. “Where’d you get those pelts?” He recognized the voice. It was Steve Benson, the eldest son of three brothers’.
“Since when did you become the keeper of the woods” Jeff asked? Jeff had no respect for this individual, or his younger brother Jim. On one occasion about six months earlier, Steve had challenged Jeff to a fistfight. When it was apparent that Steve had made a big mistake, Jim, his younger brother, had joined the fight to help Steve.
Neither brother has been able to overcome the embarrassment they went through that day in front of half the town.
“Now don’t get excited Jeff”, Steve replied,” I was just making sure that they weren’t poached off of our land”.
“No need of me doing that”, he responded, “your family’s farm only covers about 100 acres and that’s a very small part of this country.” “Now if there are no further questions of me, I’ll be heading into town.”
Steve gave a small smirk, turned without saying a word, and went on his way. Jeff did the same.


The town was quite normal for a Friday afternoon. People gathering supplies, loading wagons, and the usual kids running about chasing each other up & down the streets.
The older men would sit in there prospective places each day discussing weather, or telling old tales that each one has heard a thousand times. Some would be in front of the feed-store advising farmer’s what to plant according to the almanac. Out of respect the farmers would explain why they had to plant differently.
The women were scurrying back & forth carrying the necessities needed for the week or weeks to come, depending on when they thought they might return to town. You could see them two or three at a time standing outside the stores talking with each other catching up on the latest gossip.
Jeff stopped at the end of town and unloaded his skins off his back in front of Miller’s hardware store. “Hello anyone here?” Jeff yelled. There was no answer so Jeff made his way into the back area of the store before he finally ran into Mr.Tom Miller. Tom smiled at Jeff and both hands met as they shook. “How’s the family”, Just great, thanks Tom, Jeff replied. You have some more pelts for me today Jeff? Yes they are out front, sitting on your walkway, he replied.
Both men walked out to the front of the store to handle the transaction. Upon arriving out front, Jeff’s heart stopped momentarily. The pelts were gone.
Jeff looked along the edge of the wooden porch that surrounded the front of the store with the hopes of maybe they fell off, but they were not anywhere on the ground. Jeff’s jaw set hard as he gritted his teeth in anger.
Mr. Miller put his arm around Jeff and said, “I’m really sorry son, I can’t imagine what’s happened”. “Things like this don’t take place around here”.
Jeff looked back and nodded his head at Mr. Miller. Jeff replied, “ I think I know who’s behind this, thanks Tom”. Jeff then turned & walked away from the store in the same direction he had come from.


Jeff walked at a brisk pace back to where he had an earlier conversation with Steve Benson. Of course when he arrived at the area where they had talked, Steve was not there and Jeff was not expecting him to be. What he wanted to check on was where Steve headed after the confrontation.
He looked around the area, & found the signs that he was looking for. But they were headed back to Steve’s farm, not toward town like he figured. Jeff leaned up against a tree to think through his next move.
Did Steve have enough time to head home, and then make it to town? Did carrying the pelts slow me down enough for him to be able to accomplish that? Or did Steve leave his place on horseback, which would have been the only way to accomplish this?
As bad as Jeff wanted the answer right now, his better sense’s told him not to head down to the Benson’s farm. He knew that’s what his dad would advise also. Never go into another mans territory, especially if there is a chance of trouble. Never do what they expect or you are playing into their hands. Jeff figured it would be harder on Steve if he didn’t show up raising hell. Make him wonder. Steve was notorious for his vindictive ways, but Jeff was sure he wasn’t dumb enough to have taken the pelts back to his house. Jeff would certainly get to the bottom of this later.

Now Jeff’s path was taking him toward the Bleven’s farm and his mind was on how he would purchase the pup he had counted on training this spring.

“Hello”, he heard Mr. Bleven’s voice ring out. “ Hello Mr. Bleven”. Even though Mr. Blevens hadn’t seen Jeff yet, he knew by the walk I was approaching. Mr. Blevens was raised in this country also.
I suppose you’re here to pick up Buck?
“Well, yes” I answered. How did you know I’d name him that?
Mr. Bleven’s chuckled, “You’ve named every pup in the last 15 years that same name so why would it change now”?
Jeff knew it was true. He had had at least six dogs in the past, and none of them had survived past a year or two. They were killed by either falling off cliffs, mountain lions, or they just didn’t show back up at home.
Jeff followed Mr. Blevens just inside the small barn where four small pups came running out to greet them. Jeff knew which one was his. It was leading the other three pups and was up on Jeff’s leg getting attention five seconds before the other’s arrived. It was a little taller than the rest, and was broader in the shoulders.
He could not explain the feeling that came over him every time he received a new dog. It was one filled of dreams of what he hoped would be the one pup that would equal his dad’s dog of long ago. Ole Buck. “You think he’s got the potential” Jeff asked. “Time will tell son” Mr. Bleven’s said, “ time will tell.
Jeff was so wrapped up in the pup; he forgot he didn’t have the money from the pelts.
“Mr. Blevens, is there any chance that you could hold Buck for a couple of weeks until I get the five dollars”? Jeff explained what had happened in town earlier.
Mr. Blevens looked at Jeff and said, “I’m sorry son, but I can’t do that. I’ve got to get the pup’s mother off nursing; its hunting season and I need her real bad out there. And Steve Benson was by yesterday wanting to buy the same pup, and to tell you the truth Jeff, I’m needing money bad or we would work something out.
Jeff’s heart sank at the disappointment of not getting the pup today and the hair stood up on the back of his neck at the same time hearing Steve’s name. Now the picture was getting clearer as to why his pelts were stolen. It was evident Steve was getting revenge.

Just as Jeff thought his day couldn’t get any worse, he made one step back, and something bellowed out a pained yelp. He lifted his foot as fast as he could and there was something that resembled the other pups, except half the size.
Jeff had forgotten about the runt of the litter, and reached down to pick him up. He grinned as he laughingly apologized to the pup. Jeff placed the pup back down at his feet, and was fixing to turn around when he felt small teeth around his ankle. When Jeff looked down, the runt had hold of his sock. It was making low guttural noises and showed no signs of letting lose. Jeff lifted his foot and the pup came right up with it. He had to actually reach down and take the pup off his ankle by prying his small mouth open. As Jeff held up the pup by the nape of the neck, he and Mr. Blevens had to laugh.
Jeff once again sat the pup down on the floor, turned to follow Mr.Blevens out the shed, made two steps out the door and stopped in his tracks.
From somewhere behind him came a most familiar sound of a blue tic on trail. He turned & fully expected to see the pup he wanted to purchase coming out the shed door, nose to the ground in mock hunting. But to his astonishment it was the runt.
Out the door & right to Jeff’s ankle once again. The small teeth sank in and Jeff had to repeat the earlier act of prying the runt off.
Sorry about that Jeff, Mr. Blevens said. I am going to get rid of him anyway. No one wants a runt, and as you can see, he’s lacking in brains. Matter of fact, you would be doing me a favor if you disposed of him in Mason’s Creek for me on your way home.
Jeff nodded in agreement as he took a gunnysack from the shed in one hand, and reached down to scoop up the pup in the other. He said his good-byes to Mr. Blevens, turned and walked away. Jeff knew what he was expected to do with the pup. He was to put the pup and a rock in the bag, then drop them both off the bridge in Mason’s Creek. He was not fond of doing this, but that’s the way it was done.

old card fan

No comments? It gets much better. OCF

old card fan

Later that afternoon, Jeff came out from around the barn and saw his dad sitting on the porch in his favorite chair. Jeff was as proud of his father, as any young man or son could be. His dad and grandfather’s names were notorious in this country. No family name had more respect than the Morris’s and Jeff was determined to carry on this tradition.
Jeff had listened to his grandpa talk more than once about his dad. Standing 6’ 6” and weighing about 260 pounds he commanded respect, but more important he earned it. Not one man around this country could ever say they were cheated or ever done wrong by any Morris. Most would tell about how Dan had helped their family in some way, even when they may have not deserved it.
Until a few of years ago, Jeff & his dad were able to talk about most anything. But times were a little different now. Dan hardly spoke.
On rare occasions Dan would come out of his trance like state but you never knew when. Seemed something like fond memories of long ago would start him talking slowly as if to himself. Then he would look you in the eyes, and you suddenly realized it was you he was speaking to.

Jeff stepped up on the porch and walked up beside Dan. How are you today dad? Jeff asked. He knew there might not be a reply. Jeff put his arm around his dad as he always did and then sat down below him on the porch.
Jeff didn’t know how long he had been sitting there when something made a noise from inside the barn. He recognized the sound right away. He knew what it was, and by following the sound of the bellowing noise, it was about to make its appearance. Sure enough around the corner of the barn came the runt. It was trailing Jeff’s scent once again.
The runt actually fell and rolled over at least twice tripping over its own ears. But it was hot on the trail of something it was bound to track down. The runt found it and once again as before it sank its needle like teeth in Jeff’s ankle.
The only thing on Jeff’s mind at the moment (as he pried him lose once again) was how he was going to explain to his dad this pitiful looking excuse for a dog.

jf-08

good stuff - thanksflows well - are you going to get this published?

__________________
Read The Cardinal Rules of this Site!

Play hard, get dirty and never make eye-contact with the man you're going to blind-side. - Hardy Brown

RIP Skkorp, KoC, Danny_L, and jstadvl.

old card fan

Thx Jfk, I'm not sure about publishing. I guess thats why I want to get some opinions here from the general public to see how they like it. The name of this book is the "Blue Hue" His father killed an extremely large bear long ago that had a blue tint in one of its eyes. That kind of gives it away a little, I won't say more lol. OCF

old card fan

Jeff lifted the dog up to his lap, he turned to say the magic words that would some how get him out of this embarrassing moment. But before the first word came from Jeff’s mouth, his dad spoke.
He wasn’t sure exactly what his dad had said, but Dan’s hands reached for the runt. Jeff loosened his grip and the runt was soon being held up in front of his dads face. Jeff again heard his dad mumble something as he was looked intently at the pup.
Dan stood up and told Jeff I want you to do something for me.
Now Jeff was totally confused, what would make his dad all of a sudden come into reality. And why of all things, this runt? Jeff had brought home other dogs but never any reaction to them from his dad.
Jeff! His dad said louder than usual, did you hear me? Uh yes dad I heard the directions you gave me, but why am I doing this? “Just do it, please son”, his dad persisted.
Jeff walked out behind the house, out of sight, and did as his dad told him. He walked around two trees, climbed up in the old wagon and came down on the other side. Jeff then went up on the back porch and sat down as his dad had instructed and waited.
Before long he heard the runt coming from the front of the house bellowing out the familiar sounds of a blue tick on trail.
Jeff now knew what his dad was doing. But there is no way even the pup he wanted from Mr. Blevens could follow the trail to where he is on the porch. That was too much to ask of such a young pup.
The thing that really worried Jeff, was the fact that when the pup failed, he knew his dad would regress back within himself again. He loved having his dad with him. This hurt Jeff so much when it had happened in the past.
From the back corner of the house, the little runt made his appearance. Jeff watched him as he made his way along the path Jeff had taken earlier. He came to the first tree and started to circle around in the same direction Jeff had taken. At first he seemed confused but eventually found the trail where Jeff had left the tree and made his way to the second. He spent a little less time at the second tree, and found Jeff’s trail leading away again. Jeff thought to himself, well, he did seem to learn something from the first tree.
The runt would get just a little louder every time he found the trail away from one of the trees.
He was now on his way to the wagon where Jeff had climbed up. The runt circled, smelled, sniffed, and could not pick up the scent at the other end of the wagon. Every time he came close to where Jeff had stepped down, he would retreat back to the area where Jeff had stepped up wanting to renew the scent in his nose.
Jeff and his dad watched the runt for another fifteen minutes or so before the pup gave up and sat down where Jeff had stepped up on the wagon.
He could tell by looking at his dad that he was disappointed.
Just then Jeff’s mother stuck her head out the back door and told them that it was time for supper. Jeff looked over at the pup lying under the wagon and could tell he was tired and was going nowhere.
Jeff and his dad washed up and sat down for dinner. Jeff looked over at one point during the meal to see how his dad was doing. Jeff could tell he looked somber. He knew it wouldn’t be long before his father would retreat back inside himself again.
Jeff thought about saying something to his dad about trying to see what the runt could do tomorrow. But before the words came out, both Jeff and his dad heard something in the back at the same time. It was a small, excited bellow coming from the runt.
Jeff bolted as fast as he could away from the table and toward the back door. The only thing stopping him from getting out the door was his dad beating him to it. Both of them eventually did get out the door.
Big smiles appeared as they watched a little runt pup trailing away from the wagon back toward the porch where Jeff had been sitting. Jeff’s dad told him to sit back down on the porch with his legs on the ground so the pup could find him.
The little runt came right to Jeff and his dad was grinning from ear to ear. Well what do you think of that Jeff? Jeff looked up at something he hadn’t seen in a long while, his dad’s beaming face.
Jeff smiled real big at his dad and said, “I would not have believed a pup this young could do that dad, but I’m glad”. It’s late and I guess we should wait until tomorrow to do any more training. Jeff’s dad looked at him and asked why is that son? Jeff replied as he picked the pup up from around his feet. “My ankle is really getting sore”.

Jeff and his dad worked for the next few weeks seeing what the pup could do and was capable of doing. They put the runt through several runs like before, and just like the first time, he eventually found what he was after.
Jeff could also see his dad responding to the runts learning behavior. He seemed to be coming out of his trance like state that had taken him over a few years earlier.
Jeff also made a decision during the training of the pup. He named him Buck.

old card fan

The morning sun could not be seen yet from behind the hills, but you knew it wasn’t long before dawn would make its appearance. Just a small glimmer of light was in the sky almost telling the stars it was time for their show to end.
Jeff was sitting leaned up against a tree. He was squirrel hunting early this morning up on the ridge from his home. This was something he did when he just needed to get away from the house. He could let his mind wander and just relax.
Lately though, Jeff was experiencing feelings he could not explain. He had everything that he thought life could give in the ways of happiness. But there was just something missing, something hollow inside him.
Then he came out of his trance state when he realized there was a noise a little distance from him. It was a bushy tail running along a log well within shooting distance. Jeff took his shot, and the squirrel fell to the ground.
As Jeff reached down to retrieve the game, he felt a presence off to the side some ways up the hill. He was not about to make the same mistake he made at Jenny’s Spring. He tucked the squirrel inside the pouch of his vest, and began moving along the ridge as if to find another hunting spot.
As Jeff reached the top and began his descent down the ridge, he ducked behind a downed log that was covered by a thicket. From here he hoped to make the person come to him. His mistake last time was to try and surprise the stalker. Now it was his turn.
He waited for a longer time than he knew was necessary, before deciding that maybe his skills were failing him. He decided to call it quits and head for home.
As Jeff stood up from behind the cover he had chosen, their eyes met. They were so close to one another that either of them could have reached out and touched the other. Before Jeff could utter a word, or get hold of his senses, she had all but disappeared over the ridge.
He gave chase, but as he topped the ridge, he knew it was futile. He just stood there gasping for air. Not because he was tired, but in complete shock of what he had just experienced. He had to sit down. For the first time he could recall, his legs wouldn’t hold him up. When he tried to picture her now, all he could see were “those eyes” that had stared into his.
After a short while, Jeff regained his composure and headed back down the ridge toward his home.


As Jeff lay in bed that night, sleep would not come easily. He tossed and turned not knowing what to make of the mornings event. He had wanted to discuss what had happened with his dad, but how could he tell him a woman had made a fool of him by out tracking him. It was something Jeff would have to work out on his own.
There was one more thing troubling Jeff, It was “those eyes”. He could still see them. When you look into someone’s eyes, you can see their mind, you can tell their mood, and you can read their thoughts. Her eyes told him nothing except just the slightest hint of fear at being caught at her own game.
He wondered for a moment what she had seen in his eyes when they were face to face. The thought crossed his mind that if she didn’t see the surprise in his eyes, she may think that Jeff had caught her red-handed. This thought brought a smile to his lips. His manhood was saved. Jeff drifted off to sleep.