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1. put soda in all of the water fountains
2. eliminate the IRS; eliminate fiat currency and bring us back to a gold-standard economy; increase defense at home and greatly redce our military presence overseas
3. extend recess and lunch by 20 minutes each
__________________ America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
1. put soda in all of the water fountains
2. eliminate the IRS; eliminate fiat currency and bring us back to a gold-standard economy; increase defense at home and greatly redce our military presence overseas
3. extend recess and lunch by 20 minutes each
That post is equal parts Ron Paul and Jeff Spicoli.
Slash government spending like a jungle explorer hacking through vines
Enact term limits (2 house, 1 senate and 2 presidential terms possible per individual, for a total of 18 years for the very best, and 10 for the damn good). No more career politicians and more focus on getting things done instead of staying in power.
4) Jump on the bed in the Lincoln bedroom like a 5 year old.
1. I would build shelters for the homeless people and provide them food for free.
2. I would improve our education system.
3. I would cut down the violence in this country.
__________________ "You can never give up because quitting is not an option. No matter how dark it is or how weak you get, until you take that last breath, you must fight." Wayman Tisdale
If she was bored and wanted to go out and play. Quick answer-- I'm a female, how in the hell can I ever imagine being the President. Might get some little high fives from her girlfriends and maybe her Teacher.
1) Prioritize alternative energy sourses and work to free ourselves from all the negative consequences that result from our foreign oil dependancy.
2) Refocus the war on drugs and reduce the absurd number of non-violent inmates that are bogging down our jails/prison system.
3) Work to penalize blatantly frivilous lawsuits in an effort to curb runaway medical costs and overall insurance costs.
1. To combat global warming, I would annex Canada (which everyone knows is our little brother anyway). This would allow the mean US temperate to drop by a degree or two immediately - more than enough to "offset" this so-called "Global Warming".
2. I would be tough on crime by ending all crime. I would abolish all laws.
3. I would increase higher education - I would order all schools to add at least two floors to their buildings.
If under any other ticket (since I would have to be serious):
1. Send in a team of engineers into the US patent office. Any patent that could be used in improving fuel economy (we've all heard stories about how X oil company bought a patent and is now sitting on it) would be nationalized (they would receive compensation of what they paid for it plus prime interest rate +2% - a fair deal) and released into the public domain for development. Same with searches in automotive and oil company headquarters.
2. Push a "balanced budget" amendment.
3. Order that our deficit be prepared and reported according to SO requirements.
1. To combat global warming, I would annex Canada (which everyone knows is our little brother anyway). This would allow the mean US temperate to drop by a degree or two immediately - more than enough to "offset" this so-called "Global Warming".
2. I would be tough on crime by ending all crime. I would abolish all laws.
3. I would increase higher education - I would order all schools to add at least two floors to their buildings.
If under any other ticket (since I would have to be serious):
1. Send in a team of engineers into the US patent office. Any patent that could be used in improving fuel economy (we've all heard stories about how X oil company bought a patent and is now sitting on it) would be nationalized (they would receive compensation of what they paid for it plus prime interest rate +2% - a fair deal) and released into the public domain for development. Same with searches in automotive and oil company headquarters.
2. Push a "balanced budget" amendment.
3. Order that our deficit be prepared and reported according to SO requirements.
I agree, but since my government of Playboy bunnies would accomplish about as much as government does now, I'll take the bunnies. At least watching Cspan would be far more entertaining.
1. I would go to the CIA, get compromising photos of everyone in congress, and blackmail them into passing my National Train & Infrastructure Act: At least 100 miles of light rail in the nation's 50 biggest cities, connected by new, modified, and/or upgraded rail connecting all of the cities via train. You should be able to get from Maine to San Diego without burning an ounce of oil. You should be able to get from Litchfield to Queen Creek without getting in your car, and under 60 minutes. We would select 250 bridges and dams and rebuild them so they're good for another 100 years. All of this would create millions of jobs, sending our economy back into the positive side of things. I would pay for it by eliminating the entire section of corporate charity, line item veto every dollar spent for public monuments outside of D.C., and raise taxes (no loopholes) for loudmouth billionaire sports team owners.
2. I would set a 1-year plan for removing our forces from Iraq and Afghanistan. In the meantime, I would put a 100-virgin bounty (100 virgins in this life!) on any known member of Al Qaida. If we can't change their minds, maybe we can out-bid them. I would order NSA to recruit virgins from gatherings such as this one. As part of this plan, I would freeze all the assets for Blackwater and redistribute them to all the people of Iraq. Any veteran who spent more than 6 months in Iraq would get a 3-year exemption from paying any sort of income or sales tax for 3 years, plus they would each be required to kick Rosie O'Donnell in the crotch at least once.
3. I would use the power of the Office of President to initiate these directives:
- Paula Abdul would be required to be quiet for 1 year. If she breaks the rule, she would spend 1 year in isolation with only her catalogue of music and videos for entertainment. On a side note, no American Idol contestant, past, present, or future, would be allowed to release a CD until Linderbee approved of it first. Randy Jackson would be prohibited from using the following words or phrases while I was in office: "dog," "here's what's up," "that was hot," "I feel ya," "just keepin' it real;" Simon Cowell would be prohibited form using the following words or phrases: "cabaret," "old fashioned," "it's just an opinion." However, he would be encouraged to tell Paula to shut up as frequently as possible.
- I would make it illegal for any corporation to set a dress code that excludes shorts for men and short skirts for women.
- Fox would be mandated to put Firefly back into production immediately, while suspending indefinitely all current and future plans for reality programming. Firefly would be required to be in production until I'm out of office.
- I would organize black ops on Hugo Chavez. We wouldn't kill him. I just want them to draw a big black mustache on him. In oil-based permanent marker. We would then send the photo to Letterman and require him to produce a very funny Top 10 list, "Top 10 Reasons Huge Chavez is a Big Fat Doo Doo Head." After this, I would make the day a national holiday, "Goof on Hugo Chavez Day."
- Read My Lips: NO NEW FAXES. In fact, fax technology would be outlawed.
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