Your spouse/partner: Life and Death

CaptTurbo · March 8th, 2007, 09:56 AM

I read about this situation and thought what it would be like on both sides and it must be the hardest choice ever.

OK your spouse/partner(Jon) has cancer. A rarer form. 10% chance of being cured with very long and expensive treatments. You have 2 children ages 2 and 6.

If you do the treatments your family will have to sell the house and downsize, live paycheck to paycheck, lose all your savings and be in massive debt (hundreds of thousands).

If you decline treatement you will die in 1 year.

Questions (anwer each)

A) If you are the spouse with cancer do you decline treatment knowing that if the treatment does not work as the odds say you will die and leave your family in massive debt?

B) If you are the spouse without cancer do you try to convince your spouse with cancer to decline treatment?

D-Dogg · March 8th, 2007, 10:00 AM

a) Yes, I decline and live a great year. But I can't leave my kids that way.

b) No, we do the treatment.

Both are entirely selfish.

AzCards21 · March 8th, 2007, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Dogg

a) Yes, I decline and live a great year. But I can't leave my kids that way.

b) No, we do the treatment.

Both are entirely selfish.

Me as well. In my case I would look at the insurance she would be receiving and home equity, 401k, IRA's etc and not want them to waste a dime on me.

If it were her I'd spend it all.

Rivercard · March 8th, 2007, 10:05 AM

Assuming it's today and we're all young (relitively at least), I'd say:

1) NO
2) NO

I think the kids might have problems later knowing that we let one of their parents die when there was a possible treatment available.

dreamcastrocks · March 8th, 2007, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by D-Dogg

a) Yes, I decline and live a great year. But I can't leave my kids that way.

b) No, we do the treatment.

Both are entirely selfish.

I agree.

Rivercard · March 8th, 2007, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzCards21

not want them to waste a dime on me.

Possibly saving your life would be a "waste"?

AzCards21 · March 8th, 2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rivercard

Possibly saving your life would be a "waste"?

A 10% chance of surviving after all savings is gone or 100% chance of a paid off home and cars, college paid for and some cushion money on the side.

I don't know.

KloD · March 8th, 2007, 10:26 PM

I don't think I'd tell my family about the 10% chance because they would insist on spending it all.

If it were my wife... I'd spend every last dime and borrow some more.

RedStorm · March 9th, 2007, 05:22 AM

1) No
2) No

PortlandCardFan · March 9th, 2007, 06:53 AM

>let me die

> up to her with my full support

Linderbee · March 9th, 2007, 07:50 AM

I can't even answer what I'd do if it were me dying. I don't want to miss a minute of my kids' lives...selfishly, I would lean towards trying treatment.

If it were my spouse...I think I'm with PCF...leave it up to him, but I'd support either decision. I think the question posed was "would I encourage him to decline treatment"...to that I say no. I would encourage him to get treatment (again, being selfish) but I would understand & respect if he chose not to.

Rivercard · March 9th, 2007, 08:35 AM

So SWD, you posed the question but didn't answer it yourself....... what would you do?

Rivercard · March 9th, 2007, 08:38 AM

I'm surprised at all the voluteers to accept death. Life is golden... money is only money.

Ryanwb · March 9th, 2007, 08:40 AM

I do this in order...

Get the treatment, buy two new cars, get new furniture, new TV.... file bankruptcy

PortlandCardFan · March 9th, 2007, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Linderbee

I can't even answer what I'd do if it were me dying. I don't want to miss a minute of my kids' lives...selfishly, I would lean towards trying treatment.

If it were my spouse...I think I'm with PCF...leave it up to him, but I'd support either decision. I think the question posed was "would I encourage him to decline treatment"...to that I say no. I would encourage him to get treatment (again, being selfish) but I would understand & respect if he chose not to.

Not seeing my kids grow up would certainly suck. But I have to think about their future and me racking up a bunch of bills when inevitably my ass is going to die anyway isn't going to help them in the long haul.

With Brook I know what I said is it is up to her but I would certainly hope she would want to stick around.

Gotta love the double standards our society has...