This may not be the best place to put it, but here's the "Ten Commandments for Phoenix Sports Fans" by Dave Burns. I thought #5 was hilarious.
http://sports.ktar.com/?nid=124&sid=521289
1. Thou shall not root for anything/anyone from Tucson
2. Thou shall let go of the fact that Luis Gonzalez was let go
3. Thou shalt not complain about the opening or closing of any roof
4. Thou shall worship the Gorilla as the only true mascot; all others are false gods
5. Thou shall not covet any sport take promulgated by John Gambadoro and thou shall not bear false witness by repeating it as truth
6. Thou shall refrain from referring to Phil Mickelson as a "hometown favorite"; he grew up and currently lives in San Diego while spending only 4 friggin' years in Arizona.
7. Thou shall build glorious altars of Jerry Colangleo, Al McCoy and Frank Kush and worship at them daily
8. Thou shall not attend the FBR Open without being thoroughly intoxicated
9. Thou shall stop saying "this is the year" regarding the Arizona Cardinals
10. Thou shall not sign any players with the first name "Russ" or the last name "Ortiz"
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