The Official Trolling For Trouble Thread...

[Djaughe]

[Djaughe]

[krepitch]

Whoa...I was reading an old Calvin & Hobbes book this weekend and this series was eerie:

For more, read http://www.rabittooth.com/calvinsm.htm

[40yearfan]

: Thinking

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then
-- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I
was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to
relax," I
told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking
all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of
life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix,
but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I
could
read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and
confused,
asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
hurts me
to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college
professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep
on
thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal
with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.

I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the
big
glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night.

Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught
my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a
TA
meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
"Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since
the
last meeting

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

The road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote as a Democrat.

[KloD]

Originally Posted by 40yearfan

: Thinking

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then
-- to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and
soon I
was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to
relax," I
told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking
all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of
life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix,
but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I
could
read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and
confused,
asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
hurts me
to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop
thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as
college
professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep
on
thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to
deal
with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche.

I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the
big
glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night.

Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster
caught
my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a
TA
meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was
"Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since
the
last meeting

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

The road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote as a Democrat.

I think you changed the punchline 40, how many Republicans listen to NPR, are college profs, and read Nietzsche? Come on, admit it....

[Djaughe]

[Djaughe]

[Djaughe]

[Djaughe]

[Djaughe]

Originally Posted by KloD

I think you changed the punchline 40, how many Republicans listen to NPR, are college profs, and read Nietzsche? Come on, admit it....

Diane Rehm is awesome!

I'm starting to get hooked on her show.

[40yearfan]

Originally Posted by KloD

I think you changed the punchline 40, how many Republicans listen to NPR, are college profs, and read Nietzsche? Come on, admit it....

Think about it. If it wasn't for the Republicans making the money and paying huge taxes, none of the college professors would have a job.

[KloD]

Bush and Gore were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the craziness of the election. When the waitress came to take their orders, Gore said, "I'll take the steak." When she asked Bush, he said, "I'll take the quicky." Gore motioned for the waitress to come closer, and whispered into her ear "He means the quiche."

[KloD]

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb sh*t, it's Tony Blair!"

[40yearfan]

Originally Posted by KloD

Bush and Gore were sitting in a restaurant to discuss the craziness of the election. When the waitress came to take their orders, Gore said, "I'll take the steak." When she asked Bush, he said, "I'll take the quicky." Gore motioned for the waitress to come closer, and whispered into her ear "He means the quiche."

Quicky? You sure you don't have Clinton mistaken for Bush.

[KloD]

:o