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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet
above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and
100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a conservative."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm
still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a liberal."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me
to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, but somehow, now, it's my fault."
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__________________
“So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn’t find honest employment.” —Mark Twain
Cute..... I suspect the money the conservative used to buy the boat and the portable GPS is part of our $350 million deficit and $7 trillion dollar debt (and growning daily). Shoot, based upon that, I can tell you where she (and this country) is going!!!
__________________
Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run. May the wings of liberty never lose a feather. ....
Last edited by UncleChris; August 22nd, 2005 at 09:51 PM.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet
above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and
100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a conservative."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm
still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a liberal."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me
to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, but somehow, now, it's my fault."
SO TRUE!!!!
__________________
Goal for 2008: Half as many penalties.
Clinton started jogging near his new home near Chappaqua, but on each
run, he happened to jog past a hooker standing on the same street
corner, day after day.
With some apprehension he would brace himself as he approached her for
what was most certainly to follow.
"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.
"No, Five dollars!" fired back Clinton.
This ritual between Bill and the hooker continued for days.
He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty dollars!"
And he'd yell back,"Five dollars!"
One day however, Hillary decided that she wanted to accompany her
husband on his jog.
As the jogging couple neared the problematic street corner, Bill
realized the "pro" would bark her $50 offer and Hillary would wonder
what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
He realized he should have a good explanation for the junior
Senator.
As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Bill
became even more apprehensive than usual.
Sure enough, there was the hooker.
Bill tried to avoid the prostitute's eyes as she watched the pair jog
past.
Then, from the sidewalk, the hooker yelled, "See what you get for five bucks?"
Linear Mode
