'Penguins' movie dubbed pro-life, other flights of fancy
By John MacDonald
Special for The Republic
Sept. 18, 2005 12:00 AM
The biggest problem facing Americans today is that we've run out of things to do.
We blow through what's necessary via podcasts, leaving great gobs of discretionary time that in an earlier era - say, the '80s - was set aside for churning butter.
With those agrarian days behind us, we're left with masses of people suffering from an affliction medical researchers refer to as purposis vacatus, which loosely translated means, "I have no life." advertisement
The most recent evidence of this epidemic is the praise lavished upon March of the Penguins, the delightful movie about flightless birds following a mating ritual that's poignant and, above all, really, really cold.
Each year, thousands of penguins trudge through many miles of desolate Antarctic ice to find the right spot for a new family.
Doesn't sound too exciting, but with spectacular footage and Morgan Freeman narrating, the movie transcends from documentary to story. And we love a good story.
But with hours of free time left to ponder, apparently some think that March of the Penguins is much more than a movie.
In a New York Times article last week, reporter Jonathan Miller detailed how some individuals and groups have adopted the movie as an anthem to everything from family values to intelligent design.
The film is about grounded birds, but some misguided interpretations have now taken flight.
In the Times, film critic Michael Medved is quoted as saying that March of the Penguins is "the motion picture this summer that most passionately affirms traditional norms like monogamy, sacrifice and child rearing."
"This is the first movie (some people) have enjoyed since The Passion of the Christ. This is The Passion of the Penguins," Medved wrote.
The article also quotes National Review editor Rich Lowry as telling a gathering of young conservatives they should see the film: "It is an amazing movie. And I have to say, penguins are the really ideal example of monogamy."
An Ohio minister has developed a form children can use to take notes about "what God speaks to you" when viewing the movie. As usual, adults bring the buzz kill.
Of course, there are virtues on display in March of the Penguins.
For example, patience. As thousands of penguins march 70 miles to their mating grounds, they form an almost perfectly straight line.
There is no pushing, and not one penguin waddles out of line and marches through the double-yellow left-turn lane just to save a few minutes.
Also, plenty of teaching happens on the thick ice.
The female seems to instruct the male how to care for the delicate egg before she leaves for a while to find food. If he could talk, the male might say, "How can I tell when it's done?"
And there is devotion.
It's hard to forget the image of the mother protecting her tiny newborn penguin from howling, freezing wind. Any parent whose child needs reassurance after a bad dream knows all about this.
But for every human trait we may project into this movie, there are plenty more concepts you can only see through a preset imagination.
"That any one of these eggs survive is a remarkable feat - and, some might suppose, a strong case for intelligent design," wrote Andrew Coffin in World Magazine.
A strong case?
This is a movie about flightless birds. Only someone looking for evidence of intelligent design could find it in a story about huge odds against the penguins' very existence.
As for the film's promotion of monogamy, that's a convenient view. Yes, the emperor penguin finds a mate, and together they form a family that stays together for one frigid winter. The next mating season, all bets are off, and the male goes hippie: He loves the one he's with.
That's a testament to monogamy? Sounds more like the Birds Nest at the FBR Open, iced.
Then again, seeing the movie as supporting one side of the abortion debate is an even bigger reach. Jill Stanek, a commentator for WorldNetDaily with far too much time to think, wrote after seeing the movie, "I juxtaposed the willingness of penguins to freeze and starve to death for their babies to the unwillingness of humans to forfeit any indulgence whatsoever for their babies."
Penguins aren't "willing." Penguins are penguins. What's next? A pro-life review of Dumbo?
It's a movie. It's a beautiful movie about God's creatures surviving even when it seems they shouldn't. Just watch, keep quiet and pass the popcorn.
John MacDonald is a Tempe resident and public affairs consultant. Reach him at
jmac1962@cox.net.
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