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Moms and Dads, I have a toddler that has started hitting me. I am not sure what I should do in reaction. So far, I just ignore the behavior. I know ignoring the behavior is going to get me in trouble soon, so I was hoping you parents could give me some advice. I don't usually post, I leave that task to Ryan. My son is running me in circles, and I could use some good advice. Thanks to all
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Tell him not hit to mommy. Physically stop his hand if necessary.
If that doesn't do it put him in timeout.
Kids mostly want to please their parents (at that age anyway). Let him know you unhappy with his behavior without showing anger.
If you ignore it, it can only get worse.
Just don't teach him not to hit by spanking him.
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“votes are collared under democracy, not by talking sense but by talking nonsense.” ~H. L. Mencken
Show the kid how much it can hurt to be hit by smacking Ryan in the head with a frying pan. For good measure try pushing Ryan down the stairs after that.
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Tim Minnick 9/12/1972-3/4/2007
You'll be missed.
Often I've seen toddlers hit and bite when they get really frustrated because they haven't mastered another form of communication. Once they learn they can get away with it, it becomes a habit.
My suggestion (if you haven't already tried this) is when he hits, with a calm hand and a calm, soft voice, take the hand he hit you with and gently pet his hand while telling him that his hands need to be nice. It may sound silly, but when done consistently, I've seen this change the behavior of some very wild and mean kids. The key is consistency and positive reinforcement.
DO NOT tell him what NOT to do, but what TO do. At this young of an age, many children don't hear the "don't do this" part of a conversation, just rest of what you're saying. Such as, you say, "No hitting" or "Don't hit Mommy", but the no or don't part is sometimes not fully understood in their little vocabulary. So they just compute the hit part. Therefore, always try to tell him what TO do, such as, "Use kind hands" or "Soft touch please".
Whatever you do, attempt to remain calm (as tough as this is sometimes, I know!) but the more agitated you are, the worse it'll make the situation. Kids can sense our stress level.
Good luck! Keep us informed on how things go!!!!
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~Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean...~
Oh, btw, time outs should be 1 minute per year of age. Yes, he'll get up as soon as you sit him down, but until he understands what a time out is, you'll have to be right there and sit him back down each time he gets up.
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~Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean...~
Oooh, this reminds me of a method I've used with kids as young as 2 1/2. (Don't know if it would work with younger kids, I've never tried!) Anyhow, I had a clipboard with a blank sheet of paper on it and a red crayon with it. When a child in my class got really angry and was trying to use violence to express him/herself, I'd have him/her sit down with the "angry paper" and I'd tell him/her to color as hard as he/she could, all over that paper, until he/she just colored the anger out of his/her body. Surprisingly, it worked every time! My most mean, angry, violent little boy in class learned that when he felt that anger boiling inside of him, he'd just go get the board and sit alone and color. I think the longest he ever was coloring was around 3 minutes. By then, his paper was totally covered and he had flipped to a second sheet of paper and was drawing pictures and smiling.
Again, I have no clue if this method will work with a 15 month old, but it's a good one to keep in mind in case you might need it down the road someday.
__________________
~Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean...~
My suggestion (if you haven't already tried this) is when he hits, with a calm hand and a calm, soft voice, take the hand he hit you with and gently pet his hand while telling him that his hands need to be nice. It may sound silly, but when done consistently, I've seen this change the behavior of some very wild and mean kids. The key is consistency and positive reinforcement.
I have not tried that yet. I have all of the parenting books, and they all tell what you should not do. They never give advice on how to fix the issue. I am finding lately that the books are a whole lot of useless info, for a whole lot of cost. Our bookshelves are filled with children's reference books instead of the novels we loved. Thanks for the advice
Oooh, this reminds me of a method I've used with kids as young as 2 1/2. (Don't know if it would work with younger kids, I've never tried!) Anyhow, I had a clipboard with a blank sheet of paper on it and a red crayon with it. When a child in my class got really angry and was trying to use violence to express him/herself, I'd have him/her sit down with the "angry paper" and I'd tell him/her to color as hard as he/she could, all over that paper, until he/she just colored the anger out of his/her body. Surprisingly, it worked every time! My most mean, angry, violent little boy in class learned that when he felt that anger boiling inside of him, he'd just go get the board and sit alone and color. I think the longest he ever was coloring was around 3 minutes. By then, his paper was totally covered and he had flipped to a second sheet of paper and was drawing pictures and smiling.
Again, I have no clue if this method will work with a 15 month old, but it's a good one to keep in mind in case you might need it down the road someday.
I will keep this in mind for when Ayden gets older. I was watching a 5 yr old this past year and I wish I would have known about "angry paper" with her. She was a REAL handful.
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