No Nursing Home For ME

maddogkf · March 14th, 2005, 03:54 PM

About 6 years ago my wife and I were on a cruise through the Caribbean aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises".

She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home".

So, there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go? Princess will have a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at
no charge.

Ryanwb · March 14th, 2005, 03:57 PM

What about long term medical care like drugs and such?

maddogkf · March 14th, 2005, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryanwb

What about long term medical care like drugs and such?

dude you're on a cruise. booze & buffets. that's where it's at

Ryanwb · March 14th, 2005, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maddogkf

dude you're on a cruise. booze & buffets. that's where it's at

You know how old people need like 30 different pills a day and that is just to get out of bed. I think I would rather live at a hotel and get the same benefits. Then if I need to "get off the boat" I just go to my car and get what I need (like a hooker).

Djaughe · March 14th, 2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryanwb

..... I just go to my car and get what I need (like a hooker).

*DannyBonaduce*

40yearfan · March 14th, 2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryanwb

You know how old people need like 30 different pills a day and that is just to get out of bed. I think I would rather live at a hotel and get the same benefits. Then if I need to "get off the boat" I just go to my car and get what I need (like a hooker).

The only reason old people take 30 pills a day is because the doctors push them off on the elderly. Most of the elderly are way over medicated and taking entirely too much medication. They won't argue with the doctor and take whatever he tells them to.

Another reason for high medical costs.

abomb · March 14th, 2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryanwb

You know how old people need like 30 different pills a day

This made me LOL, really loudly. Not sure why,

A-Bomb

justAndy · March 15th, 2005, 09:54 AM

w/ more knowledge about diet, smoking, alchohol etc. the oldsters of tomorrow should be healthier.
Case in point - my 69 year old dad was having "kidney problems". One doctor wanted him to go on pills, another quizzed dad about his habits and told him "cut back on the coffee".
Result - dad cuts back on the coffee, no more kidney problem.
It can tough to face the facts of aging - some things you just can't do anymore.
In my case it's staying skinny despite all the beer i drink...