just need to bang my head against a wall here for a sec...

AZZenny · December 11th, 2007, 09:19 AM

hoping for maybe a dram of empathy, since there's not a freaking thing to be done... I am trying to settle all my late brother's bills, close all the accounts, etc., and they do not make it easy. It was tricky with my sister 6 years ago, but it is infinitely worse now.

Do you know that even when you have crawled down to the sub-sub-sub phone menu, they have no options for dead people, or closing accounts, or anything remotely in that vein? And they no longer let you skip this by pounding "0" repeatedly, that throws you out and you must start over and maybe you've learned a little patience this time, eh, missy?

Once you are finally in the phone queue for a real live representative, since you are an 'other' question and not specific, you will wait and wait... they are very nice when you get them, sorry for your loss blah blah, and then it splits down the middle -- half of them have no idea what to do or who you should talk to, but they'll put you on hold and if they can find someone with a clue they may wander back some time later. Or disconnect. ooops. Or they are able to do it with almost no info or verification (his zip code and birthday, and when I forgot what year he was born the first time, they TOLD me... I could be a hostile crazed ex-wife or psycho sister for all they know).

So the alternative is their websites, which in most cases won't let you ask about account-specific information without HAVING account-specific information, but no worry, someone clueless will probably get back to you in 48-72 hours. Then they will, yes indeedy, tell you to call customer service...

You know who has this down pat, though? The Feds. I filed for an estate tax ID # -- based on almost NO supporting info, once again -- and within 48 hours, ALL his federal social security and other stuff was terminated without my raising another finger. The bank that had refused to even speak to me about stopping his social security or pension sent me a crisp note telling me he was dead! and they had been told by the Feds to terminate automatic SS deposits.

On the other hand, the local N.H. cop ran into the pension administrator at the grocery store, they started chatting, and next thing I know, the pension people call ME to expedite the paper work even before I get any official court OK. They already stopped payments, based on the cop's gossip, figuring they'd get an angry phone call from my brother if they had jumped the gun. Love small towns.

Anyhow, this all sux.

Linderbee · December 11th, 2007, 09:25 AM

I'm so sorry, Zenny. You have all sorts of empathy from me. I have yet to have to take care of anything of this nature, but it is just a matter of time. Fortunately, my folks keep all their REALLY important stuff in ONE safe place (sorta) in their house, and the rest in a reasonably well-maintained filing cabinet. We'll be throwing away 40 years of tax returns at some point, because they never get rid of anything, but at least we won't have to search to find it.

I sincerely hope you're able to finish it all up soon.

Donald · December 11th, 2007, 09:46 AM

I had to do all this for my dad, and then set up to be the power of attorney for my mom.

Nightmares of paperwork...I still get stuff for my dad in the mail, 7 years later. Retired air force magazines they just won't cancel, etc.

It's tough and frustrating....sorry to hear you going through it now. It's just about the last thing you want to be doing when a loved one dies. Keep your head up.

AZZenny · December 11th, 2007, 09:49 AM

Thanks -- it's not sad at this point, it's just kafka-esque bureaucracy. The ability to accomplish some of this stuff without ANY hard evidence that he's dead, or that I'm legally appointed, is truly unnerving in this day and age of identity theft concerns. The inability to get anyone who can help, on the other hand, is frustrating -- and it doesn't matter if you have all the papers in order or not.

And here's a neat twist -- if there's no balance due, or even if something is owed, it's frighteningly easy to close the account and settle the bill once you finally get the right person on the phone. If there's a refund -- even a tiny refund -- suddenly they need all your legal papers, death certificates -- and to my surprise, about half the places don't tell you there's a refund due unless YOU mention it.

Gee! · December 11th, 2007, 09:57 AM

Not fun at all.. Seems like its never really over until one day you wake up and remember when you had to do all that paperwork and are glad its over and done with..