Pariah

1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This
is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm
up, and it was amazing."

2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse,
and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique,
except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front
of the similar one in back."

4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father."

5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some
deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again."

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like
it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the
wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."

9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so
well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and
kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"

Krangthebrain

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“Somewhere a True Believer is training to kill you. He is training with minimum food or water, in austere conditions, day and night. The only thing clean on him is his weapon. He doesn’t worry about what workout to do—his rucksack weighs what it weighs, and he runs until the enemy stops chasing him. The True Believer doesn’t care ‘how hard it is’; he knows he either wins or he dies. He doesn’t go home at 1700; he is home. He knows only the ‘Cause.’ Now, who wants to quit?”

NCOIC of the Special Forces Assessment and Selection Course in a welcome speech to new SF candidates

On life after football: "I wouldn't mind being a sports commentator. Having my own segment, working for ESPN, my own talk show. Part time trainer. Part time car mechanic. Part time Sprint cell phone salesman. Part time car washman. Grocery store baggage man. Football coach. Model. Actress. Stripper. And I even have dreams of being the next crocodile hunter." - Darnell Dockett

justAndy

... I have actually lol'ed...

Assface

A few years ago on live tv a golf commentator got so into it in a hushed voice he said, "tough f***ing putt."

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RIP King of Cards
Tim Minnick 9/12/1972-3/4/2007
You'll be missed.

SirStefan32

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"Don't try to threaten me Mulder! I've watched presidents die."

"If people would know the things I know, we'd all fall apart."

"Once again, tonight, the course of human history will be set by two unknown men standing in the shadows."

Cigarette Smoking Man

arthurracoon

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Signed,

arthurpostpadder

Ryanwb

Brandon_Webb

Cardinals.Ken

You need to get out more...

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Moses parted the Red Sea, Oppenheimer split the atom, but dotKen cut the crap. - Steve Antczak