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View Poll Results: What should I do?
Give him the larger TV; you're being petty & it's really not yours (Sorry, Ashley; you get nothing)
Okay, folks...I need your help/opinions. I have a situation with my ex, and I just can't be objective about it, so I'd like your opinions.
Before my ex & I divorced the first time, his mom gave us her TV (35"--I think--SD) when she upgraded hers. When we divorced, my ex got the tv. Then we remarried, and divorced again. While we were separated & subsequently divorced, I asked my ex repeatedly to get his stuff. He repeatedly told me he wanted nothing. (Very angry & bitter). On occasion he would say he wanted the tv, and I told him fine; he needed to come & get it...I would not help him. The tv is VERY heavy & unless you're HarleyRider or bigger, it's pretty much a 2 person job.
He never came & got the tv. Our divorce paperwork states that what was in my possession at the time of the divorce was mine, and what was in his possession is his.
Now my ex is living with his mom, and her tv bit the dust, and they want me to give the tv back.
My ex has never given me a dime of child support, ever, and I don't feel like I owe him anything. If I keep the tv (which is presently in my living room), it will go in my bedroom when dcr & I move in together, and the one in my bedroom now (27" SD) will go to my daughter, Ashley.
If I give him the tv, I keep the one in my bedroom & Ash gets nothing.
Should I give the tv back? I didn't buy it, and would have given it to him prior to our divorce had he come & gotten it.
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How much hassle is he going to give, and is the TV worth that? There's time, money, and mental health. Money you can eventually make more of, time and mental health are finite and non-renewable resources.
You could probably get a tolerable little used TV for your daughter cheap and if dealing with your ex is going to take more than an hour or two of time and a cubic foot or more of mental space, set it out on the front yard and tell him if he gets to it before anyone else, it's his.
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How much hassle is he going to give, and is the TV worth that? There's time, money, and mental health. Money you can eventually make more of, time and mental health are finite and non-renewable resources.
You could probably get a tolerable little used TV for your daughter cheap and if dealing with your ex is going to take more than an hour or two of time and a cubic foot or more of mental space, set it out on the front yard and tell him if he gets to it before anyone else, it's his.
If I keep the tv (which is presently in my living room), it will go in my bedroom when dcr & I move in together, and the one in my bedroom now (27" SD) will go to my daughter, Ashley.
If I give him the tv, I keep the one in my bedroom & Ash gets nothing.
Give him (his mom) her TV back. Give Ashley your other TV.
How much hassle is he going to give, and is the TV worth that? There's time, money, and mental health. Money you can eventually make more of, time and mental health are finite and non-renewable resources.
You could probably get a tolerable little used TV for your daughter cheap and if dealing with your ex is going to take more than an hour or two of time and a cubic foot or more of mental space, set it out on the front yard and tell him if he gets to it before anyone else, it's his.
Oh, he'd give me plenty of hassle...your post is one of the exact reasons I came here. The voice of reason. I FEEL like giving it to him would = him winning. Winning what, I really don't know. I don't have a front yard. If I cave & give it to him, I'll just give him a specific amount of time to get it. He says he has someone to help him move it now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian in Mesa
Give him (his mom) her TV back. Give Ashley your other TV.
If you give him the TV, I say you unscrew the back and put a shitty diaper in there or something that will make it stink everytime he turns it on. I could supply said diaper, not from my use, but my boys churn those out like clockwork
If you give him the TV, I say you unscrew the back and put a shitty diaper in there or something that will make it stink everytime he turns it on. I could supply said diaper, not from my use, but my boys churn those out like clockwork
I'm with Zen. In times like these I get real practical: Keeping the TV is as much an emotional issue. It's not worth getting into it with a bitter person. IMO, you win if you get over it and don't play his game, which from the sounds of it he's enjoying. I'd give the TV to him and tell him to move on.
Not to get spiritual on anyone here, but I always felt Sunday School failed to teach people the most important lesson of Genesis 3: Don't talk to snakes! The correlary is don't haggle with snakes.
Buy a new TV. Don't give something away that is yours either. Give Ashley the old tv and store the other tv in a closet.
I'm sorry but your ex sounds like a loser having to stay with his mama. So let your ex and his mama have something to talk about while you move on. If it used to be all about your ex, now it can be all about Ashley and yourself.
How much hassle is he going to give, and is the TV worth that? There's time, money, and mental health. Money you can eventually make more of, time and mental health are finite and non-renewable resources.
You could probably get a tolerable little used TV for your daughter cheap and if dealing with your ex is going to take more than an hour or two of time and a cubic foot or more of mental space, set it out on the front yard and tell him if he gets to it before anyone else, it's his.
Where do you draw the line? When do you decide something is worth the hassle? It seems that you would rather give up the TV than to deal with the drama, (understandable) but at what point do you stand up and say, "Wait a minute, this is just as much mine as it is yours. I'm not going to give something to you that you don't deserve just because you bitch and whine about it." It's like giving into a screaming child in the grocery store, just so you don't have to deal with them.
It was me that came up with the compromise to give him the smaller TV, and yet I don't know why. If I were Linder, I'd put both of my middle fingers in the air and tell him to go to Craigslist and get a used TV.
And I'm not saying this because I think that he's a loser. I'm saying it, because
A) I think Linder has just as much right to the TV as he does/did. And now, so does her daughter.
B) It is Linda ex mother in law (the one that gave the TV in the first place) who is pushing to get the TV back.
C) I would need an abacus to add up all of the years of child support owed to her from her deadbeat ex.
All in all, sometimes sticking up for your principles, adds drama, but keeps your sense of morals and values intact.
Quote:
Originally Posted by black
Buy a new TV. Don't give something away that is yours either. Give Ashley the old tv and store the other tv in a closet.
I'm sorry but your ex sounds like a loser having to stay with his mama. So let your ex and his mama have something to talk about while you move on. If it used to be all about your ex, now it can be all about Ashley and yourself.
I like yours and Ryan's idea the best. Tell him that he can pick it up, and then when he arrives, take a baseball bat to it right in front of him. Hell, Linda if you do that, I'll buy a TV for Ashley.
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