Movie-A-Day #109: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 10:09 AM

Sorry I'm so late, but it's just soooo damn busy. Anyway, I was surprised to see this wasn't done, and since I'm in a hurry, I'm going with one of my old favorites.

Monty Python is/was (I believe one of the members is dead) a great British comedy troupe that thrives on silliness, intelligence and wackiness in perpetuating their sometimes raucous comedy. Consider this movie...please...

This is the TRUE story of King Arthur and his quest for the Holy Grail. In it, the King encounters rebellious peasants he mistakes for women, two-headed giant knights, Knights Who Say 'NI!' (you had to be there), knights of the round table, including one who ran away from the viscious Chicken of Bristol, a killer rabbit, a sorcerer named Tim, an old woman beating a cat against a hovel, a shrubber named Roger, and A WITCH, A WITCH!!! That's not to mention Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film.

At any rate, I'm sure many of you have seen this flick before. Let the comments commence!

Chandler Mike · January 28th, 2004, 10:15 AM

I'll let everyone have a good laugh when I say I've never seen it....

Mike

jf-08 · January 28th, 2004, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Chandler Mike
I'll let everyone have a good laugh when I say I've never seen it....

Mike

ahh...yeah.......how 'bout them Mets?

One of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Everytime I watch it, I try to notice something different in the background.

"You are King because some water tart gave you a sword?"

maddogkf · January 28th, 2004, 10:40 AM

[clop clop clop]
[whinny whinny]
GALAHAD:
They're nervous, sire.
ARTHUR:
Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot. Dis-mount!
TIM:
Behold the cave of Caerbannog!
ARTHUR:
Right! Keep me covered.
GALAHAD:
What with?
ARTHUR:
W-- just keep me covered.
TIM:
Too late!
[dramatic chord]
ARTHUR:
What?
TIM:
There he is!
ARTHUR:
Where?
TIM:
There!

ARTHUR:
What, behind the rabbit?
TIM:
It is the rabbit.
ARTHUR:
You silly sod!
TIM:
What?
ARTHUR:
You got us all worked up!
TIM:
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
TIM:
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
ROBIN:
You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!
TIM:
Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

GALAHAD:
Get stuffed!
TIM:
He'll do you up a treat, mate.
GALAHAD:
Oh, yeah?
ROBIN:
You mangy Scots git!
TIM:
I'm warning you!
ROBIN:
What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM:
He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR:
Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS:
Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM:
Look!
[squeak]

BORS:
Aaaugh!
[dramatic chord]

[clunk]
ARTHUR:
Jesus Christ!
TIM:
I warned you!
ROBIN:
I done it again!
TIM:
I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? Well, it's always the same. I always tell them--
ARTHUR:
Oh, shut up!
TIM:
Do they listen to me?
ARTHUR:
Right!
TIM:
Oh, no...

KNIGHTS:
Charge!
[squeak squeak squeak]

KNIGHTS:
Aaaaugh!, Aaaugh!, etc.
ARTHUR:
Run away! Run away!
KNIGHTS:
Run away! Run away!...
TIM:
Ha ha ha ha! Ha haw haw! Ha! Ha ha!
ARTHUR:
Right. How many did we lose?
LAUNCELOT:
Gawain.
GALAHAD:
Ector.
ARTHUR:
And Bors. That's five.
GALAHAD:
Three, sir.
ARTHUR:
Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite.
ROBIN:
Would it help to confuse it if we run away more?
ARTHUR:
Oh, shut up and go and change your armour.
GALAHAD:
Let us taunt it! It may become so cross that it will make a mistake.
ARTHUR:
Like what?
GALAHAD:
Well... ooh.
LAUNCELOT:
Have we got bows?
ARTHUR:
No.
LAUNCELOT:
We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ARTHUR:
Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
MONKS: [chanting]
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem.

ARTHUR:
How does it, um-- how does it work?
LAUNCELOT:
I know not, my liege.
ARTHUR:
Consult the Book of Armaments!
BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.
SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--

MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother.
SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
MAYNARD:
Amen.
KNIGHTS:
Amen.
ARTHUR:
Right!

One!... Two!... Five!
GALAHAD:
Three, sir!
ARTHUR:
Three!
[angels sing]
[boom]

Chaplin · January 28th, 2004, 11:02 AM

I LOVE the Holy Hand Grenade!

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 01:43 PM

Maddog, you absolutely, positively f-ing ROCK!!!

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 01:43 PM

Evidently, my liege, that's how we know the earth to be banana shaped.

mdamien13 · January 28th, 2004, 03:25 PM

My absolute favorite scene is when King Arthur encounters the peasants on his land who rule themselves through a democratic tribunal. Close second is Sir Robin encountering the three-headed knight. The whole movie cracks me up no matter how many times I see it.

vince56 · January 28th, 2004, 03:51 PM

I have to ask, what would your reaction be if you rented Holy Grail to watch with your girlfriend, and she not only didn't like it, she didn't get it at all?

I had this experience recently, that's why I ask.

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by vince56
I have to ask, what would your reaction be if you rented Holy Grail to watch with your girlfriend, and she not only didn't like it, she didn't get it at all?

I had this experience recently, that's why I ask.

You shrug your shoulders and say, 'well, I GUESS not everyone likes it'.

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 04:02 PM

By-the-by, the special edition DVD has an option to play subtitles of Henry IV part I or II by Shakespeare, in case you hate Monty Python. I kid you not! I love these guys.

vince56 · January 28th, 2004, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stout
You shrug your shoulders and say, 'well, I GUESS not everyone likes it'.

As odd as that may seem

I just made fun of her for about a week instead. It was so much more constructive

Brandon_Webb · January 28th, 2004, 05:35 PM

"Just a fleshwound"

"I've seen worse"

The black knight owns

possibly greatest comedy

FischerKing · January 28th, 2004, 09:29 PM

Great pick stout!!!

I remember seeing it in the theater in Tempe with you when you flew into town for the Cards game I believe.

Absolutely hilarious movie - one of my all-time favs.

Shawn

Stout · January 28th, 2004, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by FischerKing
Great pick stout!!!

I remember seeing it in the theater in Tempe with you when you flew into town for the Cards game I believe.

Absolutely hilarious movie - one of my all-time favs.

Shawn

Hell yeah! That was incredibly great of the town and the theater to ressurect this classic in a time of need. It was right after September 11, remember, and we all needed a dash of laughter to lighten our hearts.