Heroes and Goats: Cards at Browns

Am I alone in feeling like this should be more fun? The players on the field seem like they’re having fun —our heroes this week seemed like they were having fun. Tyrann Mathieu seems to be enjoying himself. The curse of success is that you’re either waiting to fail or trying to get through the success for more success. As Don Draper said early in the run of Mad Men, “But what is happiness? It’s that moment before you need more happiness.”

We’re entering the bye week — let’s resolve together to extend that moment right before we need more happiness.


Michael Floyd, WR

#15 is making the decision to pay him some $7M in 2016 as part of his fifth-year option. While the terrible announcing crew tried to paint Floyd as a deep threat, he’s the true heir-apparent to Larry Fitzgerald as a physical presence in the WR corps.

Frostee Rucker, DT

At age 32, Rucker may be on pace to have the best season in his career. He ate a pretty good offensive line alive on Sunday. He hasn’t made me forget about Darnell Dockett, but he might be ready to get an alligator for Christmas.

Carson Palmer, QB

This is the first time I’ve put Palmer on this list. In part, it’s because he’s made winning these games look like so much work. Palmer knows that this team is on a trajectory for the postseason and can’t celebrate until that’s earned.

 Baby Goat

James Bettcher, DC

Completely unable to generate pressure or to get his players to convert the rare pressure into sacks. Is your quarterback paralyzed on half of his body? Don’t worry; James Bettcher is sure to turn down the heat on him.

Chris Johnson, RB

Two fumbles is unacceptable from a veteran running back. His career fumble rate is very low (just over 1% of carries), so hopefully this is an outlier. He didn’t get a ton of help from his blockers at times (looking at you, Troy Niklas), but 3.93 YPC against this D is unacceptable.

Every Outside Linebacker

Josh McCown is 36 years old and injured. He looked at times like Aaron Rodgers, able to complete passes on the run and find space in the pocket. At a certain point, Freeney, Woodley, Golden and company have to start converting these opportunities. It’s embarrassing.

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