Heroes and Goats: Arizona Cardinals vs. Washington “Professional” Football Team

What kind of zombies are the 2016 Arizona Cardinals? Are they the slow, shambling zombies of the past? Will they lumber undead through the last month of the season, feasting on those too dumb to get out of the way and move to higher ground? Are they fast, predatory zombies who hunt the living and explode with unnatural speed and aggression?

The reality is that the Cards are in 10th place in the conference with odds of making the playoffs around 5%. Still, I like the aggressive zombies more than the shambling ones.


D.J. Humphries, OT I’ve been as great a skeptic of Humphries as there is, but he seems to have settled into a role protecting Carson Palmer. Humphries is not a great player, but he’s good enough against the opponents he’s faced.


Jermaine Gresham, TE It’s weird that it’s taken this look for Gresham to come into his own. He’s become a vocal leader of the offense, and his teammates are rallying around him


Calais Campbell, DT If you want to know whether the Cards fan you’re talking to knows football, ask what they think of Campbell  this year. He’s had a great year and is working toward a contract in the mid-eight figures.


Marcus Cooper, CB It’s okay to give up completions if you sometimes make a play on the ball, as well. It’s not easy playing across from Patrick Peterson, but he needs to put up more of a fight.


John Brown, WR 28 snaps and 1 target in the latest game in a lost season. I thought that Brown could do more than run fast, but Carson Palmer is looking his direction even less frequently than Michael Floyd, who is a head-case at this point.


Drew Butler, P Utter garbage, week after week. It’s not clear why he still has a roster spot.

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