Adult child - opioid addiction

Discussion in 'Body and Health' started by DutchmanAZ, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. DutchmanAZ

    DutchmanAZ Registered

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    Reaching out because I'm clueless on how to approach this. we have a son who I strongly believe is addicted to opioids and his life is spiraling down hill.
    We can't MAKE him do anything, he's 25.
    Any wisdom?
    As much as I pains me I feel he has to hit the bottom. And I worry exactly what the bottom may be (suicide etc.).

    Open to someone who's encountered this before. We feel helpless.
     
  2. BigRedRage

    BigRedRage badass Contributor

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    Sorry to hear this. I don't have any resources for you but I wish you the best and hope things improve

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  3. Linderbee

    Linderbee Let's GO, CARDINALS! Contributor

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    When you figure it out, let me know how you did it so I can take care of my 25 year old daughter. :(
     
  4. DutchmanAZ

    DutchmanAZ Registered

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    It's a bitch. You raise them right, or try to, and then off the rails they go.
    The second guessing as parents is killing us.
    Frustrating, sad, worrisome, and the overwhelming feeling of helplessness.
     
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  5. Linderbee

    Linderbee Let's GO, CARDINALS! Contributor

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    I feel everything you're feeling. My daughter has already been through rehab once, when she was 19 (20?) but I don't believe she's straight right now. All the signs are there but she won't admit it. I think part of the reason is because she doesn't want to "hurt" me. I'm thinking about texting her (she can't interrupt me in a text) and tell her that I love her, and it would hurt me more to have her not get help.

    The worry is the worst. Children can't understand until they have their own children what worry as a parent is like.
     
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  6. Brian in Mesa

    Brian in Mesa BIMâ„¢ Contributor

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    My mom always said "Just wait until you have kids of your own." Stress, worry, anxiety, etc. Problem solved - no kids. :cool:
     
  7. Brian in Mesa

    Brian in Mesa BIMâ„¢ Contributor

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    Sadly, I think it is up to him to get his life straightened out. You can be there for him (as long as your actions aren't enabling in any way) but - in the end - he has to make the big decisions on his own or the actions won't stick and the behavior will revert, IMHO.
     
  8. simpleoneaz

    simpleoneaz Free Agent

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    I so get this. My situation was different. The addict was my sibling. I was raised living in constant fear and worry. Addiction tears a family to shreds. What saved me was
    Al-Anon meetings. Have you looked into this 12 step program? It is life changing. I've had to learn I am powerless over the disease. Cutting to the chase, she has to want help and she can go to AA for free. Most treatment programs charge a heck of a lot of money only to introduce patients to AA. It's a great program but she has to want it. She might need it, but she has to want it. AA and/or Narcotics Anonymous are both options.

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  9. puckhead

    puckhead Waxing Gibbous Contributor

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    I'm so sorry, Dutchman.
     
  10. Linderbee

    Linderbee Let's GO, CARDINALS! Contributor

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    My ex-husband is an alcoholic, and I went to Al-anon regularly for a long time. It does help, a LOT, but the worrying never goes away.
     
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  11. cardncubfan

    cardncubfan H

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    I've been there myself Dutchman & I know the feeling of helplessness. Like the others have said he needs to want to get help before he can get better. There are several places he can go to for help. I would suggest Riversource in Mesa.
     
  12. BigRedRage

    BigRedRage badass Contributor

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    My oldest daughter lost her mom to meth and other drug addictions. The woman is still alive, she is just gone. My daughter doesn't talk to her anymore now that she spent mothers day at home, while we went to the lake, because she made plans to do yoga with her mom and her mom stood her up. This has gone on her entire life, she just is now 15 and seeing it all through the right lens. There was a point when she was like ten that when she would get mad she would say she will just live with her mom. I sent her there for a week and she came begging back after 48 hours. lately if she ever went to visit, within an hour she is begging me to make excuses about why she has to come home already.

    She did drugs to the point of becoming a schizophrenic. The government watches her, the comedy central logo is a camera, satellite nonsense and more. She at one point had an entire delusion that my wife is lady gagas cousin, is in music videos and was sent to me to divert my attention from her by chester bennington.

    Not kidding.

    Her home is not a home, its an apartment with a laptop and a twin mattress on the floor. It is a horrible existence. Addiction is brutal. I hope for all of you that your loved ones pull out of it but once humans become addicts, the entire world revolves around them and their fix and it cannot improve until they want it to improve.
     
  13. DutchmanAZ

    DutchmanAZ Registered

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    Appreciate all of the insight and concern. Thanks.
     
  14. Linderbee

    Linderbee Let's GO, CARDINALS! Contributor

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    <<moved this reply to your thread so as to not be a downer in the other>>

    I'm 45; my oldest will be 28 in January...she took herself to rehab when we were in London for the Cardinals game (alcohol is her 'drug of choice') and is doing REALLY well there--so proud of her right now. She's really trying very hard to work on all her issues and get her life back on track.

    My 25 year old is the one on heroin...had this confirmed a couple of months ago and it's killing me. My heart is just broken. We caught her stealing from us 3 years ago, so I feel your pain. The MAJOR blessing I have in all of this is that neither of them have kids. I was able to tell her (when we caught her) that she had to go...I don't even know what I would have done if there were kids involved.

    I try to stay in her life, but it's becoming increasingly difficult since she now knows that I know and she won't get help. I feel like by spending time with her, etc., is somehow making me complicit. I've debated cutting off from her and telling her how much I love her, but I can't continue to be a part of a life that I can't approve of and is causing me so much pain. I don't know. It sucks so much.
     
  15. BigRedRage

    BigRedRage badass Contributor

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    :(
     

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